Recently, I temporarily relocated to a neighborhood a stone’s throw from an Army Base (post? whatever!). I’m not sure this Airman is ready for all those grunts!


Air Force Rules!

For over 20 years, my family and I have lived on or near Air Force bases. It was only near the end of my career that the idea of “Joint” bases began to get popular. Joint Base San Antonio, Joint Base Lewis-McChord, Joint Base “Your-Name-Here.” I only experienced these peripherally, on random TDYs or stopovers on the way to somewhere else. Now, I get to experience another environment entirely.

Near Air Force bases, you see quite a few “Proud Airman” or “Air Force Strong” or “Aim High” bumper stickers and window decals. Sometimes you see the I.Y.A.A.Y.A.S. or N.K.A.W.T.G. slogans, but those people probably can’t read anyway, so you just kinda feel bad for them. For those who do not require remedial reading classes, they stand for “If You Ain’t Ammo You Ain’t Shit,” and “Nobody Kicks Ass Without Tanker Gas.” 

IyAaYaS (Courtesy of Reddit user ‘i never wanna be in acc again’)


Army Base? Post? Camp? Ball-Pit?

Near an Army Post (base? whatever), the amount of bumper stickers and decals increases exponentially. As do the numbers of jacked pickup trucks and deep-throated Mustangs. To be fair, there are a lot of Mustangs near Air Force bases, but they’re usually of the four-cylinder, hamster-driven variety. Still only $30,000 at 29 percent interest, though. 

Bumper stickers with unit designations and ranks abound. Sometimes I wonder how they can see out of their windows from the sheer amount of decals proclaiming their pride in their units (platoons? squads? whatever). Then I wonder about OPSEC, and remember I have my DD-214 security blanket. Maybe they need markings so they know which F-150 with blacked-out windows, spec-ops trim package, and 52-inch wheels belongs to them? 

Uniform wear seems a little more casual around this Army Base (post? whatever). I have seen numerous Soldiers with hands in their pockets, or without covers (hats, for those who speak English) while outdoors. I am also not sure why there are irons for sale in the PX since the OCPs seem to come pre-wrinkled. Well, the PX has loads more stuff than any BX I’ve been to, so there is that.