On Friday, a suicidal 29-year-old air mechanic named Richard Russell commandeered an Alaskan Airlines/Horizon Air Bombardier Dash 8 commuter airliner at the Seattle/Tacoma Airport. Although it remains unclear how or where Russell gained his proficiency behind the stick of the aircraft, he managed to start the engines and take off without seeking permission from the tower. Russell spent the better part of an hour in the air, even doing some loops before he and the aircraft crashed near Ketron Island, a small dot of land with only about 20 permanent residents.

Throughout the incident, Russell spoke to air traffic controllers, at one point even apologizing and describing himself as a “broken guy” with “a few screws loose.”

“I’ve got a lot of people that care about me, and it’s going to disappoint them to hear that I did this,” Russell said to the air traffic controllers. “I would like to apologize to each and every one of them. Just a broken guy, got a few screws loose, I guess. Never really knew it until now.”

It seemed as though he may not have intended to die during some parts of the conversation.

“This is probably, like, jail time for life, huh? I mean, I would hope it is, for a guy like me,” he can be heard saying.

“Well, we’re not going to worry or think about that. But could you start a left-hand turn, please?” The controller replies.

Before long, however, it starts to seem clear that Russell did not intend to survive the incident. He repeatedly announced his intentions to put the aircraft into “a roll,” and shortly before the crash, you can hear one of the controllers seem to say he had successfully completed one, asking that he stop and return the aircraft now that he’d accomplished his goal. At that point, Russell says that he had expected to die during the stunt.

“Congratulations. You did that. Now let’s land that airplane safely and don’t hurt anybody on the ground,” a pilot in the control tower that was advising Russell can be heard saying.