China is on my crap list. Well, heck, they have been on our national crap list for a long time now. The country’s preposterous preponderance of people notwithstanding, it possesses a noticeable deficiency when it comes to thinking for itself, that China does. I have to wonder if they aren’t suffering from the scourge of a Dynasty-X or a millennium Dynasty affliction of sorts. Somewhere along the way the great kingdom got luxuriously lazy and went the way of copying, counterfeiting, and stealing other people’s great ideas. It just saw an irresistible pair of coattails and stepped aboard for a free ride.

China hasn’t been great global team player: It doesn’t play well in the sandbox or the wading pool. In fact, it’s been aiming to stake a claim on the shared space in the wading pool, much to the chagrin of the other waders. Well, (he shrugged) China just wants what China wants and doesn’t give a tenth of a rat’s behind what anybody else wants. If China can’t have it, China will steal a copy of it and write its own name on it. Now that’s not even an original Chinese idea, either.

I submit for your consideration this recent obstreperous tantrum perpetrated by the humorous Han in the theater of world politics. Please stay with me; there are a few moving parts:

1. (Tit) Canadian Lloyd Schellenberg was arrested in China in 2014 on drug-smuggling charges and sentenced to 15 years in prison—shame, Lloyd!

2. (Tat) Chinese Meng Wan Zhou (孟晚舟), chief finance officer (CFO) for telecom giant Huawei Technology Company Limited (華為技术有限公司), was arrested in Vancouver by Canadian authorities at the request of the U.S. for hoodwinking several international banks into dealing with Iran—in violation of U.S. sanctions on that country.

3. (Tit) Canadians Michael Kovrig and Michael Spavor were arrested for what Beijing is calling “threats to national security.” Yes, two Canadian businessmen managed to threaten the very foundation of the Chinese nation in its entirety. Nice job, fellas.

4. (Tit) Shortly thereafter, Canadian English teacher Sarah McIver is detained for some mysterious discrepancy on her work visa. The Chinese then declare she’s “working illegally.”