An official letter made its way through the Kafkaesque corridors of the Kremlin – delivered in the middle of a stack of government documents to ensure the messenger a head start to escape the coming wrath. The recipient was sprawled out on the trophy of his most recent conquests, a fresh tiger skin rug, 2 liters of vodka and half of the Moscow ballet company. Vladimir Putin was having a good day, that is until he opened the letter from the International Olympic Committee (IOC,) and without thinking he took action.

President Putin, letter in hand sprung forth and charged through the corridors of his lair on a beeline to the Gosduma, calling forth his staff as he sprinted forward. There, from the central podium, he announced, “Screw these guys, we’re going to have own Olympics – with blackjack and hookers!

It may not have actually happened like that, but if you’ve spent some time in the East; you know that my idealization of the events is most likely not too far off target.

In Russia, and despite a detailed report released by the World Anti-Doping Association (WADA,) which distinctly identifies the Federal Security Service, of the Russian Federation (FSB) as a key facilitator of the recent scandal, as well as similar tactics in the Sochi Olympics – with 15 Russian medal winners from the Winter 2014 Olympics bow being implicated,