Editor’s note: This piece by SOFREP’s own George Hand first appeared on the site on May 10th, 2020.  It is back by popular demand, as is George, who will be writing more for us shortly; stay tuned! -GDM

I vividly remember my fifth year of life on Earth. I found myself in kindergarten learning the Pledge of Allegiance, which was my right hand and which was my left hand, the capital city of the state of Oklahoma (easy one), and where things like honey and milk come from. We all, of course, know now that those things come from the store.

We had a stupid show we put on for family members who came to school one day and sat and gawked at us as we performed. We sat in a row and, beginning at one end, each kiddo stood up and spewed a one-liner of wisdom. At my turn, I stood and announced that the capital of Oklahoma was Oklahoma… City.

The girl to my right was rough; that is, the teacher had trouble finding something that the gal could repeat. She was just… pretty slow… and struggled with everything. Finally, the teacher gave her the righthand-lefthand line. On cue, she was to stand and hold up her right and then left arm and announce them both.

“This is my left hand.”

When I finished with my contribution to our state capital city, she went next. She did not fully stand up nor raised her arms. Rather, she slung one hand, raised the other up at the elbow, and quickly muttered:

“This’ my right han this’ my lef hand,” and went back to her chair before her knees even locked out.

I noticed too that she had gotten them both wrong: she hadn’t held the correct hands up for right and left. Oh, well… there was a 50 percent margin of error there, to her defense. Me, I had 49 chances to get my statement wrong.

When it was over my four-year-old brother came up to me sheepishly, put his hand on my shoulder, and said: