Military marriages are often characterized by resilience and strength in the face of unique challenges, including frequent deployments and relocations.
While infidelity can occur in any marriage, the unique stressors of military life can sometimes create more vulnerabilities, and unfortunately, that means that infidelity in military marriages is more common than we might think. However, it’s essential to acknowledge the vast majority of military marriages remain strong and committed, demonstrating remarkable resilience and devotion.
Understanding the specific challenges faced by military families can help us better support and appreciate the sacrifices they make for our country. Let’s explore this matter further.
The Statistics of Infidelity in a Military Marriage
Let’s look at the numbers: a 2015 study pointed out that around 70% of wives of deployed servicemen believe that their husbands had been unfaithful while on duty.
Another study published in 2017 revealed that the pervasiveness of sexual affairs within military marriages is 22.6%. The study involved 63 married servicemen, and here’s another staggering statistic: 75% of them who had their souls crushed and hearts trampled on by unfaithful wives had been divorced within the next nine months.
It’s human nature to constantly long for a spouse’s touch and companionship, and being deprived of it could likely result in unfavorable consequences when worse comes to worst. But why is that? More importantly, does that mean that military marriage is a disaster waiting to happen?
Everyone has their theories on why people cheat on their spouses, particularly those in the aforementioned arrangement. But rather than coming up with baseless hypotheses, let’s see what science has to say.
Military marriages are often characterized by resilience and strength in the face of unique challenges, including frequent deployments and relocations.
While infidelity can occur in any marriage, the unique stressors of military life can sometimes create more vulnerabilities, and unfortunately, that means that infidelity in military marriages is more common than we might think. However, it’s essential to acknowledge the vast majority of military marriages remain strong and committed, demonstrating remarkable resilience and devotion.
Understanding the specific challenges faced by military families can help us better support and appreciate the sacrifices they make for our country. Let’s explore this matter further.
The Statistics of Infidelity in a Military Marriage
Let’s look at the numbers: a 2015 study pointed out that around 70% of wives of deployed servicemen believe that their husbands had been unfaithful while on duty.
Another study published in 2017 revealed that the pervasiveness of sexual affairs within military marriages is 22.6%. The study involved 63 married servicemen, and here’s another staggering statistic: 75% of them who had their souls crushed and hearts trampled on by unfaithful wives had been divorced within the next nine months.
It’s human nature to constantly long for a spouse’s touch and companionship, and being deprived of it could likely result in unfavorable consequences when worse comes to worst. But why is that? More importantly, does that mean that military marriage is a disaster waiting to happen?
Everyone has their theories on why people cheat on their spouses, particularly those in the aforementioned arrangement. But rather than coming up with baseless hypotheses, let’s see what science has to say.
Infidelity Could Be a ‘Self’ Issue
Society is quick to jump to conclusions about the real reasons for infidelity. There will be justifications pointing to one party’s failure to provide for their partner’s needs. For others, it could be because of a potential commitment disparity or simply put, one spouse is more committed than the other.
University of Maryland’s College of Behavioral and Social Sciences narrowed it down to these factors: revenge for their partner’s infidelity, lack of sexual satisfaction, loss of passion in the relationship, and low self-esteem.
There are those who cheat under the influence of substances that lower inhibitions, while others just want variety.
If you think about it, military couples and servicemen aren’t the only ones who are vulnerable. Any couple facing long periods of separation due to their jobs can experience similar challenges.
All of this is pretty much common sense. But what society fails to focus on is the person committing adultery. That’s where psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel comes in.
For years now, Perel has been speaking on the topic of infidelity. She even did a whole TED talk about it, which you can watch below. If you have 21 minutes to kill, this is an interesting one.
According to Perel, people don’t necessarily cheat to break free from their partners. Sometimes, it could be a result of being dissatisfied with oneself.
“It isn’t always our partner that we are turning away from, but the person that we have ourselves become,” she explained. “It isn’t so much that we’re looking for another person, as much as we are looking for another self.”
Unfortunately, people in military marriages seem to have a higher chance of developing these issues, which is a possible reason why infidelity in military marriages is scarily common.
People in ‘Happy’ Relationships Cheat, Too
Now, I understand that if you’re in a military marriage, reading this article could make you lose hope in the sanctity of matrimony regarding your chosen situation. But as it turns out, even those who see themselves in a happy marriage are also susceptible to straying from the supposed right path.
Perel’s explanation of why this happens is still connected with her previous point: people cheat out of regret and possibly self-loathing.
“I see people in satisfying, happy relationships,” she said. “They say, ‘I love my partner; I’m having an affair.‘”
“It’s not that they want to leave the person they are with; it’s that they want to leave the person they have themselves become.”
Again, these are accounts that point to the hypothesis that infidelity is a “self-issue.”
The Heavy Toll of Infidelity in Military Marriages
Now that we talked about possible causes of infidelity, let’s talk about the consequences of infidelity in a military marriage, and spoiler alert, it can be far-reaching and devastating.
While the emotional pain and betrayal are universal, military couples face unique challenges that can make the fallout even worse.
Military-Specific Consequences
Career Impact
The military doesn’t tolerate adultery, and it is a punishable offense under the Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ). Even if not prosecuted, the discovery of an affair can damage a serviceman’s reputation, hinder promotions, and lead to administrative actions.
Security Clearance
In some cases, infidelity can raise concerns about a service member’s trustworthiness and judgment, potentially jeopardizing their security clearance and career trajectory.
Deployment Stress
Infidelity can create immense strain on a serviceman during deployment, affecting their focus, morale, and overall well-being. This can have serious consequences not only for the individual but also for their unit.
Family Separation
In addition to the emotional toll, infidelity can lead to the breakdown of the military family unit, often resulting in separation, divorce, and custody battles. This can be particularly disruptive for children who must cope with the absence of a parent due to deployment or relocation.
The Ripple Effect
The impact of infidelity extends beyond the immediate family. It can create tension and distrust within the military community, damage unit cohesion, and undermine the support system that military families rely on.
Seeking Help and Support
The consequences seem heavy, doesn’t it? If you or your spouse is struggling with infidelity in your military marriage, seeking professional help is crucial. Remember, it’s never too late to seek help and rebuild trust. But that brings us to our next part, which might be an easier solution for most.
Adult Toys Are Bridging the Gap
With the many drawbacks that modern society brings come the upsides, of course. It’s all about keeping the connection formidable and binding, and experts will attest to that.
“If you’re not working to keep your sexuality connected to your partner when you can’t physically touch them, it becomes less of a romantic relationship. You lose the intimacy that you have when you’re with someone in real life,” said certified sex coach Gigi Engle.
How do you do that? Adult toys are one way to go about it.
We’re not just talking about the run-of-the-mill products you’ll find at your local R-rated shop. We’re talking about the 21st Century, interactive models that work even if you’re oceans apart. All you need is a smartphone, a stable internet connection, and your imagination.
A Stimulating Introduction to Long-Distance Adult Toys For a Military Marriage
If you’ve gotten this far into the article, you’re likely wondering how long-distance intimacy works. For some of you, this concept could be entirely new.
That’s where a product like We-Vibe shines best. It can help ease the burden that long-distance relationships bring, especially in those moments of longing. It is also very straightforward to use.
Once your naughty little package arrives in the mail, the next step would be to download the product’s official mobile app. This platform will be your remote control. It literally enables you to satisfy your partner from afar. You can even do it together as a couple.
Check out the We-Vibe website for the hottest products, as well as discounts and special offers. Long-distance relationships never became this interesting.
As someone who’s seen what happens when the truth is distorted, I know how unfair it feels when those who’ve sacrificed the most lose their voice. At SOFREP, our veteran journalists, who once fought for freedom, now fight to bring you unfiltered, real-world intel. But without your support, we risk losing this vital source of truth. By subscribing, you’re not just leveling the playing field—you’re standing with those who’ve already given so much, ensuring they continue to serve by delivering stories that matter. Every subscription means we can hire more veterans and keep their hard-earned knowledge in the fight. Don’t let their voices be silenced. Please consider subscribing now.
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Brandon Webb former Navy SEAL, Bestselling Author and Editor-in-Chief
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