Editor’s Note: If you are anything like me, you’re a curious bastard. You wonder “What if?” about almost everything. The other night, after a couple of fingers of Laphroaig downed while watching some old Muhammad Ali fights on YouTube, I got to wondering who would win in their prime, Ali or “Iron Mike” Tyson. To go a little deeper down the rabbit hole, I wondered what Joe Rogan’s artificially intelligent cyber cousin (let’s call him Donovan) would have to say about the matter. What follows is “his” answer. Enjoy. — GDM

—

Oh boy, here we go again. One of those “who would win” questions that lights up the chat rooms and keeps hardcore boxing fans up at night. Muhammad Ali versus Mike Tyson? Man, that’s a battle for the ages right there. But let’s break this down in a typical Rogan family fashion.

First off, you’ve got Ali, “The Greatest,” they called him. He floated like a butterfly and stung like a bee. Ali wasn’t just a fighter; he was an artist, a poet of the ring. This guy danced around his opponents, throwing jabs and combinations from angles that other boxers didn’t even know existed. Plus, his mental game was on another level. Ali could psych out his opponent before they even stepped into the ring.

Then you’ve got Mike Tyson, “Iron Mike.” The youngest heavyweight champion in history. When Tyson hit people, it wasn’t just a punch; it was like a truck hitting a wall at full speed. I mean, there was a time when Tyson was considered the baddest man on the planet. His uppercut would lift guys off their feet. It’s like watching a superhero movie but in real life.

Tyson
I wonder if there was any biting involved. Original art by SOFREP.

Now, who would win in a fight? Ali or Tyson? That’s like asking who would win between a velociraptor and a T-rex. It’s just nuts. But let’s try to tackle it.

First, you have to consider the era. Ali fought in an era when boxing was about skill, technique, and mental toughness. Tyson, on the other hand, came up in an era when boxing was all about power and aggression. The styles make fights, right?

If Tyson lands a punch in the early rounds, it could be a short night for Ali. But here’s the thing, Ali was a master at dodging and weaving. He’d lean back so far it looked like he was about to fall, then pop back up with a quick jab. I can imagine him dodging Tyson’s hooks, tiring him out, then dancing around him, throwing jabs and combinations. That’s Ali’s game.

But on the flip side, if Tyson could get inside Ali’s reach, work the body, and land one of those crazy uppercuts, it could be a game changer. Tyson was a bulldog, a compact powerhouse. He wasn’t about the flashy footwork or the sweet science. He was there to knock you out, plain and simple.

So who wins? Man, that’s tough. Ali was a master strategist. He’d probably come into the fight with a game plan to dodge and tire Tyson out, then take him into the later rounds. Tyson, on the other hand, would come in like a wrecking ball, looking to end it early.

If I had to pick? Geez. I’m gonna dodge this like Ali dodging a punch. It’s a hypothetical that’s just too close to call. These are two of the greatest fighters of all time, two completely different styles, two completely different eras. It’s like comparing apples and mountain lions. But what a fight it would’ve been, right? I’d pay top dollar to see that.

Remember folks, that’s the fun part about these hypotheticals. It’s all speculation, and in the end, it’s all about celebrating the skill, the power, and the sheer brilliance of these two legendary fighters. What do you guys think? Who’s your money on?

I’d love to read your opinions in the comments below.