It was a Saturday morning in beautiful Ocean Beach, my humble community in San Diego, and I was ready to take a much-needed breather.  Let’s face it, as much time as I spend shuttling myself from the University to train my feeble brain, and over to MCRD to work on my feeble Gainz, and haranguing reluctant friends to come on the podcast, I was ready for some down time. Saturday mornings in an idyllic beach town means relaxation, a walk or bike ride down to the sea wall to chat up the local bums, maybe get some coffee, watch the waves… all the usual things.

But as I sat on the grass enjoying the surf, I started taking note of some troubling developments. First, I began noticing the “pussy” hats. You know the one I’m talking about. Suddenly, bunches of angry-looking pale, thin women were walking by me, faces set with that sour grimace so prevalent amongst that particular demographic. A booth began to be erected! A BOOTH!! Unbeknownst to me, there was to be a mini Anti-Trump rally, with the participants lining up on the sand to spell out, “Impeach.”  This was fantastic. Normally, I’d be highly irritated with these nuts bringing politics into my beach town, and thereby ruining my Chi, but this was a rare chance to do some recce of the agitated liberal in their natural state.

So I decided to stick around and do some field observation. Now, keep in mind that I have to live in this town, so I wasn’t planning on berating anyone or calling anyone stupid (those are for other, faraway demonstrations;) I just really wanted to listen in and get kind of the general vibe of the whole thing. I would have gladly spoken to anyone, or had a sure-to-be-fruitful debate on deportation of violent illegal immigrant gang members, or how Jeff Sessions is a secret Russian spy, but nobody dared to talk to me. So I posted up on the seawall to watch, and listen. One thing became clear almost immediately: This was well-organized and well-funded. The custom professionally-printed banners, the matching t-shirts all the organizers wore with the word, “INDIVISIBLE” emblazoned across the chest, the pale, thin women running to and from herding people into the proper places… there had been a lot of thought put into this.

It was clear I was being viewed with suspicion by the organizers. After all, in a sea of pale, thin, white women, your humble author and his rugged, freedom-fighting visage stood out just a little bit. One pale, thin woman with an earpiece dangling from her head, after walking by me three or four times, asked if I was flying a drone overhead, which I was not. After I told her no, she continued to walk by me, trying to get a glimpse of what was on my phone screen. I’m not kidding; during one of her patrols she managed to have a guy with her, whom I overheard reassuring her, “I don’t think he’s recording anything.” Even if I WAS, it was in a public space in a protest, for Chrissakes. Typical communists;  always paranoid about surveillance.


Then there was the news media, which, of course, had sprinted to the scene. I saw three out of the four local news stations had vans there. And the journalists were making sure that they had the right narrative. One moment struck me in particular. There was this pale, thin woman and her approximately ten-year-old daughter wearing their matching pink “pussy” hats. Shockingly, no father was around. I can just imagine that conversation:

Libtard wife: “Ok, honey, are you ready to go to the #Resist Rally? I have your pussy hat ready!”

Husband: “Ummm…. yeah I’ll be right there!” (frantically scrambles for handgun in nightstand, remembers he has liberal-ass wife who won’t allow him to have a handgun, quickly swallows 50 aspirin, dies.)

Anyway, this reporter knew a “get” when he saw it. He asked the little girl if she wanted to talk on camera about the rally, and how Trump was worse than Stalin, etc. The mom urged her kid to do it, but the kid obviously didn’t have the slightest clue what was going on. “I don’t know what I should say,” the kid kept telling the cameraman, who was obsessed with getting her in front of the camera. “Don’t worry about it; we’ll help you with what to say and practice a few times,” the reporter kept saying. Your local objective news team in action.

The camera was all set up and ready to go, but the kid had enough. “I don’t think I want to do it,” the kid finally shyly said, apologetically. The reporter reluctantly admitted defeat and started looking elsewhere. Good for you, kid. You were the only one with any damn sense in the whole area. I like to think that in ten years, that little girl will be some fanatical right-winger because of this traumatizing experience that her pale, thin mother had browbeaten her into instead of just letting her play on the damn beach on a Saturday, like a kid should.

That same reporter wasn’t done though. He sat right next to me on the seawall and continued to search for other people. I got to hear his conversation with a pale, thin woman who was a bit worried about the violent rioting that had plagued other events, specifically the black-clad “Anti-fascist” rioters, who enjoyed showing to events and caving people’s heads in with baseball bats. Not to worry, assured the reporter. “See, they’re ANTI fascists, so, you know, their violence is a lot different from those Trump supporters.” Huh.

(Credit: Caleb Serban Lawler)

There were plenty of other hilarious conversations as well. Trust me, I wasn’t TRYING to listen, I was just in the middle of all of this shit. I guess the attendees just assumed everyone present naturally agreed with everything they said. Indeed, three people in front of me had about a 45 minute venting session. I can’t really call it a conversation, since they were doing that thing where they all talk over each other. You know, when people don’t give a shit about what YOU are saying, and they start talking in the middle of your sentence because what they have to say is just SO GODDAMN IMPORTANT and clearly more important than whatever the fuck you are trying to say because you’re just some dummy? (I freaking hate that.) Yeah, it was like that. So these three lunatics talked over each other for almost an hour, yammering on about Russian spies, Nixon, and Trump being satan incarnate. It was hard to follow, but they seemed to be having a good time.

Finally, the crowd started to break up a little bit, having successfully posed for their picture in the sand for Facebook likes. I enjoyed my little foray into the alternate universe. A fun time was had by all, because nothing brings people together more than a mutual hatred of something and the chance to shout slogans. Of course, my local  bums remained on the seawall, enjoying this rare chance to shout slogans without one of our great San Diego police officers strolling over to tell them to can it. I sat down next to one particularly pungent fellow who was joyfully shouting various slogans so I could have his friend snap our picture. I gave him a dollar. After the picture was snapped, he and his friends started telling me to show them my asshole. Startled, I stared at them with my best “I’ll kill you” operator stare. Thusly chastened, they explained that in the bum world, it is rumored that police must tattoo their badge numbers around their rectums, so; in order to ascertain my undercover status, they wanted to see my anus.

The things I do for you people.

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Follow me on Twitter as we discuss the important news of the week:

This is going to be a bloodbath: 

WASHINGTON — The U.S. Marine Corps is investigating allegations an unspecified number of military personnel and veterans allegedly distributed nude photos of female colleagues and other women as part of a perverse social media network that promotes sexual violence.

The explosive revelation was first reported by The War Horse and published Saturday via Reveal, part of the Center for Investigative Reporting. Potentially hundreds of Marines may be caught up in the scandal, which has shaken top Pentagon officials and prompted death threats against the Marine veteran who disclosed it. An undetermined number of nude photos were shared online by way of a Facebook group titled Marines United, according to the report. The community has nearly 30,000 members, mostly comprising active-duty U.S. Marines, Marine Corps veterans and British Royal Marines.

The news report was authored by Thomas Brennan, an Iraq and Afghanistan combat veteran and Purple Heart recipient who founded The War Horse in 2016. The nonprofit news site focuses on military and veterans affairs, and tales of combat heroism.

After its publication, several members of the Facebook group lashed out at Brennan, making threats against him and his family. One suggested Brennan should be waterboarded, a cruel and controversial technique used for a time by American military and intelligence operatives while interrogating suspected terrorists. President Obama condemned the practice, while President Trump has said it should be reinstated — against the advice of his defense secretary, retired Marine Corps Gen. Jim Mattis.

You’ve got to be shitting me, Marines. How fucking stupid can you get? Did you really think, in today’s environment, that this wasn’t going to brought to the surface eventually? You think the female Marine officers are going to see this, and laugh it off? And you would use your real names and real Facebook accounts and not think twice before hitting “send” on your, “Let’s rape that bitch” comment? Freaking MORONS. Dude, I get that there is going to be gossip about the hot young female Marine that just showed up to the unit. That is going to happen; that happens in every office on the planet, civilian and military. But to leap from that to actually POSTING naked pictures of someone is fucked. And all of you idiots thinking this is just typical USMC behavior are part of the problem.

I’ve been pretty clear in my criticism of the Department of Defense and their misguided push to add women into male-dominated jobs. But arguing about that concept is one thing. To publicly shame a female and fellow service member by publishing private, intimate, sexual photos is quite another. Put bluntly, it’s freaking sick and wrong. What the hell is the matter with people?

Ladies, you aren’t going to escape the you’re-a-dumbass lash on this one either. I am going to speak frankly: How can you be so stupid to allow guys to take pictures of you while you’re having sex? (Obviously, I am not referring to any photos taken without the victim’s knowledge here.) You don’t think those are going to get out? Men are always going to ask you to send them naked pictures. It is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to have some class and tell them you don’t do that. What, you think that 19-year-old Marine who is banging you while you’re on float is going to keep those secure? I’m not trying to be a dick here, but someone needs to tell these young women the harsh realities of the world.

The article states that this could involve hundreds of Marines. At least one guy has already been dismissed from the USMC because of this. I expect that number to multiply. At the very least, watch out for HOURS of sexual harassment training in your future, jarheads. And you have nobody to blame but yourselves. They deserve every minute of it. This behavior is shameful, and unbecoming of United States Marines.

Dial it back a little, coach: 

Could it finally be happening?!:

The Army is in the midst of a study to determine whether it can safely allow soldiers to wear beards, multiple officials have confirmed to Army Times.

Soldiers have been discussing the idea behind closed doors and in open forums for years, but the push to research the possibilities and make a decision really picked up earlier this year, according to the Army G-1 uniform policy sergeant major.

“It’s more driven from the religious accommodations group,” said Sgt. Maj. Anthony Moore, referring to a working group that made the recommendations that informed the Army’s authorization of beards for Sikh men in uniform.

“Soldiers would ask here and there, but it’s gained traction since the Army directive for religious accommodations,” he said in a Feb. 28 phone interview.

When the working group convened last year to talk beards and turbans, officials expanded the conversation to include hijabs and dreadlocks, Sergeant Major of the Army Dan Dailey told Army Times earlier this year. Those accommodations were all later authorized in a new directive.

She seems nice:

A Red Lion teen remains in York County Prison Friday afternoon after police say she nearly struck an officer with her car while trying to drive away from him last month.

Makia Maria Jones, 19, of 450 Carriage Lane, is charged with fleeing from or attempting to elude an officer, possession of a small amount of marijuana, possession of drug paraphernalia, reckless endangerment, and DUI, according to charging documents.

The responding officer approached the vehicle and could smell a strong odor of marijuana, police said. The officer identified himself, and the driver, later identified as Jones, revved the engine and began to reverse, court documents state.

The officer was next to the vehicle and told Jones to stop, but she did not, police allege. She then put the car into drive and accelerated forward, all while the officer continued yelling for them to stop, according to police.

“I had to disengage and jump back from the car to avoid being struck,” the responding officer wrote in charging documents.

Things continue to go swimmingly in Afghanistan: 

KANDAHAR, Afghanistan — An Afghan policeman turned his rifle on his colleagues at a checkpoint in southern Helmand province, killing 11 of them before fleeing the scene, officials said Tuesday.

The attack happened late on Monday night in Lashkar Gah, the provincial capital, said Omer Zwak, spokesman for the provincial governor.

The attacker collected all the firearms and ammunition from his colleagues, then fled the scene in a police vehicle — presumably to join the Taliban. “An investigation is underway,” Zwak added.

Dr. Din Mohammad at the Lashkar Gah Hospital said the hospital morgue received 11 bodies of slain policemen, all with gunshot wounds.

The Taliban made no official statement or claim about the attack but Afghanistan has seen several such incidents over the past years, cases in which Afghan troops or policemen — or Taliban militants dressed in Afghan uniforms — turn their guns on their colleagues or U.S.-led coalition partners.

That’s just great. I tell ya, I really think we’re turning in around over there. Who knows, with another five or six decades of war and trillions of more dollars, we may get to a point where the local police aren’t executing each other over their whacky religious squabbles! I can see it now: Afghanistan is going to have golf courses, and McDonalds’s, and strip clubs, and car washes. All the things that have made America great. Aaaaaaaaaaany day now.

You in a heap ‘o trouble, son: 

An airman at Kirtland Air Force Base was indicted this week on nine federal child pornography charges, according to an indictment filed in U.S. District Court in Albuquerque, New Mexico.

Air Force Lt. Jesse Furse, 34, used a computer to share or possess pornographic videos of young girls, ranging in ages between 3 and 11 years old between May 2014 and January 2016, the criminal complaint said.

“The criminal complaint alleges that a preliminary review of the contents of a hard drive from Furse’s residents contained approximately 1,400 video files consistent with child pornography,” according to a news release from the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of New Mexico.

USMC needs more Snipers: 

The Marine Corps is facing a “critical gap” of scout snipers due to the high washout rates at sniper school, so the Corps is looking at changes to how the elite sharpshooters are trained, officials said.

The graduation rate for scout snipers school for the past several years has been down significantly. An uptick in 2016 bumped the graduation rate to about 44 percent; but that remains well below the nearly 56 percent graduation rate in 2012, according to Training Command.

“The significant causes of attrition in the course are in practical application evaluations, which includes stalking, marksmanship and land navigation,” Training Command said in a statement to Marine Corps Times. “The eligibility requirements and training requirements have not been made more difficult.”

How do you make out with a cow???:

BIZARRE footage shows the moment a man is frogmarched naked into a police truck after being caught having sex with a COW.

The 40-year-old unnamed man was spotted by horrified villagers passionately kissing and then mounting the vulnerable animals in Lampang province, Thailand.

Officers arrived 30 minutes later and handcuffed him, before hauling him naked into the back of a police truck where he joked about his depraved act.

The man told police he “felt the urge” to have sex with the cow and began fondling it before “having sex”.

He said he felt “strong emotions” and could not stop himself from feeling attracted to the farm beast as he watched it grazing.