A historic upset, and some modest proposals:

Donald John Trump was elected the 45th president of the United States on Tuesday in a stunning culmination of an explosive, populist and polarizing campaign that took relentless aim at the institutions and long-held ideals of American democracy.

The surprise outcome, defying late polls that showed Hillary Clinton with a modest but persistent edge, threatened convulsions throughout the country and the world, where skeptics had watched with alarm as Mr. Trump’s unvarnished overtures to disillusioned voters took hold.

The triumph for Mr. Trump, 70, a real estate developer-turned-reality television star with no government experience, was a powerful rejection of the establishment forces that had assembled against him, from the world of business to government, and the consensus they had forged on everything from trade to immigration.

Talk about eating some crow. Just about every pundit, myself included, had predicted a Trump loss. I felt  that he simply couldn’t manage the electoral votes. Although I have supported him from day one, and had cast my vote for him, I had conditioned myself for weeks leading up to the main event that Hillary Clinton was going to be our next President. I suppose it was some form of therapy, that if I accepted the inevitable, when the moment came, it wouldn’t hurt nearly as bad.

I woke up over here overseas around three in the morning to watch the election results come in, along with several of my compadres. And then something funny happened. First, Trump won Florida. That was the big one; without that state, he had absolutely no chance. So I though, “hmmm… interesting. May as well stay up a little while longer. And then? The exit polls started rolling in, and the impossible became possible. This was, undoubtedly, the biggest political upset in modern American history. Talk about a life lesson.

Donald Trump was universally reviled by every major institution in America. The media was fanatically against him, dropping even the SLIGHTEST pretense of objectivity. Every single newspaper endorsement (not they matter, but still,) went against him. Hollywood was against him, with stars making condescending videos, and threatening to move to Canada. (Which is ironic, since Canada actually has very strict immigration law.) The professional class of silicon valley was against him. The legal class of lawyers and judges were against him. Academia looked upon him as Satan himself. Both political parties were against him. The freaking military (save for perhaps the grunts in the lower ranks) were against him.

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But Trump never stopped. He just kept coming. No matter how many negative stories they ran against him, he never quit. The mud slung against him was like nothing I’ve ever see. We had the media assuring us that this man, who quite vocally parted with the Republican right and said Caitlyn Jenner could use whatever goddamn bathroom he wanted in Trump tower. We had the shyster black activist crowd assuring us that this man, who had been friends with and mingled socially with just about every black celebrity on the planet before he ran for president, was actually some sort of not-so-closeted Klan member. We had the media assuring us that the obviously fake trial for underage rape story would be taking place in the very near future. The slander that he took would have reduced any other Republican candidate to a blubbering pile of goo. And Trump never gave up, and he never quit. Food for thought.

Now, we’ve had days of rioting over… what, exactly? I’m not even sure that these bussed-in and paid protestors could even articulate what exactly they are so upset about. Like I’ve been saying forever, the old left/right paradigm is DEAD. If these idiots would just stop shouting for a second, they might realize that between the Trump supporters and the Bernie Bros, they actually have a lot more in common than they think. If they would act like MEN for five seconds, instead of the screaming garbage toddlers that they are acting like now, maybe we could even find some common ground. After all, remember when the Democrats at least PRETENDED to be the party of the little guy; the working man? They used to organize in union halls and taverns. Now, the center of the Democratic party is located in elite academic circles and wall street cronyism, and they sneer at the very people they claim to represent. Look at this tweet by David Corn, editor of the “liberal” Mother Jones magazine, as he mocks people that didn’t go to college:

He really is a fuckface. The election of Donald Trump is huge, but coming in a close second, in my opinion, is the absolute crushing failure of the media for the last 8 years to try and understand the devastation that took place outside of the Washington DC/NYC bubble. They have completely lost any moral authority they once had in acting as the watchdogs of democracy, instead being content to suck off Obama and Clinton, while crucifying Trump. You could see it in their faces as the election results rolled in and it became apparent that the Clinton coronation was not to be. Honestly, the most professional guy of the night was Brian “I was THERE, MAN!” Williams. He alone of the MSNBC staff maintained his professional-broadcaster cool, while the rest of the dolts were reduced to quivering piles of smegma. None of them understood what had happened, or how Trump’s message had resonated with millions of people. Chris Matthews (!!!) put it absolutely perfectly. Hell, I feel like I was hearing myself:

Absolutely nailed it. See, Chris may be a big lib, but he’s one of the last of those old-time democrats that connected with the working class. THIS is what propelled Trump to victory. This selling out of American jobs by corporate America. The rampant illegal immigration that leads to, in Victor Davis Hanson’s words, “The Two Californias.”  These ridiculous, STUPID wars, for which that middle-class America has paid the ultimate price. The fighting and dying of Americans in far-away religious/tribal conflicts that are none of our damn business. If I hear one more person like that idiotic gash S.E. Cupp on TV talking about how we NEED to do something in Syria, I’ll lose it.

And now we have these retards marching in the streets over… what? I remember being bitterly disappointed that Mitt Romney had lost in 2012 when all the polls showing he would cruise to victory. I further remember the left-wing democrats gleefully shoving it in my face. I didn’t riot, or set cars on fire, or smash storefronts, or throw bottles at cops, or declare a race war,  or block freeway intersections of people trying to go to work. Nah, I fucking got up the next day and went to work. But, because I’m the bigger man, I have three courses of action that I believe are not only easy wins for Trump, but could go a long way to assuage the fears and butt-hurtedness of all of the losers in the streets. I’M MAGNANIMOUS LIKE THAT.

Push for federal decriminalization of marijuana. 

This is a no-brainer now, right? First of all, it’s already happening state by state, and even without a federal law, other states are going to see that sweet revenue rolling in, and want a little piece for themselves. So we could be looking at the spectacle of it being legal in every goddamn state, and still be ILLEGAL at the federal level. Further, this would finally make the V.A. stop refusing veterans treatment because they smoked some reefer. Instead of doping up our wounded warriors with dangerous opiates, we can finally use cannabis to treat pain, depression, and PTSD. You make the veterans happy, you make the hippies happy, and the libertarians happy in one fell swoop. I fully volunteer to head up the committee on this. Secretary of Cannabis?

Use the Presidential podium and call out corporate American for H1-B visa abuse.

You know how the media always wants to play that, “DERRR HEZ GUNNA GO HOUSE TO HOUSE ROUNDING EM UP” game when it comes to illegal immigration? Don’t fall for it. Instead, use that presidential bully pulpit to call out the unbridled greed of corporate America and how they have abused the system. That H1-B visa system was intended to be a small program to fill positions after every conceivable attempt to hire Americans was unsuccessful. Instead, it has morphed into a barely-veiled human-trafficking system that exploits foreign workers at the expense of American workers. And these aren’t shit jobs in the fields anymore, but skilled white-collar technology positions. Call companies out by name. Point the finger at Disney and SoCal Edison, and call out their CEOs by name. Let’s make them squirm and try to explain that, gosh darn it, they simply can’t find any Americans who can work a computer. There is ZERO constituency for this. Even the nutty activists know that this isn’t the hill they want to die on.

Oh, and deport every illegal alien with a criminal record. Again, let’ see the activist protest when we start deporting all the MS-13 guys. After we do at least that, I’m willing to listen to some of the path to citizenship bullshit. But not one second before.

Start winding down these idiotic wars. 

Just in the last several weeks, we’ve lost six of our special forces operators and one of our Navy EOD sailors. Now comes word that president Nobel Peace Prize is getting ready to send 1,700 of our paratroopers from the 82nd Airborne back over to Iraq. Furthermore, in the Botched coat-hanger abortion known as Afghanistan, we just lost two more American troops and two contractors. How many more? HOW MANY FUCKING MORE until we throw our hands up in the air and realize what a giant waste of time the last 16 years has been? How many times have you heard me screaming about this on the podcast? What in God’s name is the mission in Afghanistan? Just what the hell are we doing there? NOBODY WANTS THIS.

We defeated the Nazis and the Japanese empire in four fucking years, and in 16 freaking years in Afghanistan, the Taliban now control more territory than they have since before we got there! I’m sick of it. I’m enraged by it. The thought of American families signing their kids up to go off the fight in areas of the word that the locals either can’t or won’t handle for themselves is starting to make me physically ill. We have given so much for so little. Getting involved in nation-building in Iraq and Afghanistan is easily, in my opinion, the worst foreign policy decision in the history of the republic. It’s over. Start pulling people out; stop spending our blood and treasure. Who the hell is going to oppose this, save for some defense contractor lobbyists and psychopathic warmongering Senators like Lindsey Graham and John McCain? (Who just won re-election, by the way, so thanks for that, AZ.) What’s the argument? “Oh, but the Afghan people…” SHUT. UP. Again, you’d bring the pacifist hippies and us nationalists together. Win-win.

We’ll see how Trump does. The good thing is that he’s already starting to have an effect. He’s already killed the TPP, and Mexico and Canada are already saying we can renegotiate NAFTA. That’s good! As I’ve said many times, the biggest scam corporate America ever pulled was convincing middle America that they NEEDED a bunch of cheap crap made in China by slave labor. Good riddance. And as for the shitstains rioting in the streets? Hey, go ahead and have your tantrum. I love the first amendment. But the second you start destroying some dude’s business, I hope you get tazed so hard that lightning bolts shoot sideways out of your asshole.

Donald, if you’re reading this, it would just be a lot easier to make me Secretary of State. I know you aren’t interested in policy anyway. And just because I voted for you doesn’t mean I won’t hesitate to slam the guy. My greatest fear is that he pulls a Schwarzenegger: Run promising all kinds of reforms, and then run and hide at the first sign of criticism. We will be watching. In the meantime: Congratulations, you crazy bastard. You did it. The Sonofabitch did it.

Follow me on Twitter as I drink the sweet tears of pompous liberal celebrities

Yeah, I had a little fun the day after the election. I probably tweeted more that single day than I even have. But I couldn’t resist. The cryfacing was absurd. I would have stopped but  everyone kept getting more and more hysterical. It’s really too bad, since I actually like “Family Guy” quite a bit. I’m not a big TV/movie watcher, but that’s one show I watch if it’s on. Come on, Seth. I’m sorry, Bae.

Side note: I cannot freaking believe how much time people spend tweeting. I feel like I tweet regularly, and I have a total of like 2500 tweets over like the last 4 years, with half of those being re-tweets. I routinely see people with like 300 followers with like 300 thousand tweets! WHAT DO YOU DO ALL DAY, BRO?

So… Who had the job of setting THIS up?:

The FBI reportedly operated almost two dozen child pornography websites hidden on the dark web to lure and catch predators.

Unsealed documents obtained by the American Civil Liberties Union revealed investigators had the authorization to run 23 such websites.

It had already been known that the agency ran the website, Playpen, to help identify users.

The sites were, ‘dedicated to the advertisement of child pornography, the discussion of matters pertinent to child sexual abuse’, according to Ars Technica.
The agency’s sites also monitored: ‘methods and tactics offenders used to abuse children, as well as methods and tactics offenders used to avoid law enforcement detection while perpetuating online child sexual exploitation crimes.’

An FBI spokesman said he was unaware of an operation with 23 websites, according to a statement given to the website.

MMMMM-HMMMM. “Unaware,” he said, unawaring-ly. Can you believe that shit? Look, regular readers of the roundup know that I am second to NONE in my belief that all pedophiles should simply be executed on the spot. Or, at least, chemically castrated and lobotomized to the point that they cannot pose a threat. But I don’t know about this shit.

I mean, 23 child porn websites? Doesn’t that seem a bit… excessive? And aren’t you the ones actually committing and facilitating the crime to begin with when you flood the internet with that much disgusting filth? And who was the lucky guy or gal who got to set that one up? I can just imagine THAT meeting:

James Comey: “Ok, listen up, people: Jones!  you’re going to do a hit with the local PD on that Cartel safe house. Damn right, fully armed. Smith, you and your team go ahead and bring in those Somali terrorists for questioning. I want them waterboarded until they’re pooping a goddamn RIVER. Aaaaaaaaand….Johnson!”

Johnson: “Yeah, chief?”

Comey: “I need you to get rolling on the child porn website. Here’s a thumb drive filled with a thousand of the worst fucking pictures you’ve ever seen. I mean, this is filth. Really, really disgusting. You’ll probably need therapy and have nightmares for the rest of your life. Sick stuff. Now, I’m gonna need 23 of those websites.”

Johnson: “But sir, I found all of the Clinton deleted emails! Want to take a look at them?”

Comey: “IF YOU EVER TELL ANYONE THAT I’LL HAVE YOU FUCKING KILLED.”

Pretty sure that’s how it went.

Navy doesn’t want awesome boat; doesn’t want anyone else to have it either:

No matter how much firepower or armor a ship might have, it’s entirely possible that at least some among a large swarm of small boats could penetrate those defenses and inflict major damage. And countries like Iran have taken notice.

“The US military has never found a way to stop that type of swarm attack against the US fleet,” Gregory Sancoff, the CEO of Juliet Marine Systems, told Business Insider. “They’re incredibly difficult targets.”

While the military hasn’t yet perfected a solution, Sancoff believes he has it.

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It’s called Ghost, and it’s a stealthy, small boat that can be outfitted with a variety of weapons to fight back in danger areas such as the Strait of Hormuz. But the US Navy doesn’t want it, and the government of the United States seems to be doing everything it can to stop anyone else from having it as well…

…“The next thing you know I get a contract from them and I look at it and they want all the patent rights,” he said. Sancoff, believing the Ghost could have many more uses outside the military market, scoffed at the idea of losing his intellectual property. He turned down the contract, thinking eventually the US Navy would go for it, and if not, he could sell to a friendly nation such as South Korea, Japan, or the UK.

Instead, about a month later, Sancoff said, “I had secrecy orders slapped on my company. They took it anyway. They went and they grabbed my four patents, put secrecy orders on them, and they didn’t call me.”

Well worth reading the whole sorry saga. Apparently, Sancoff is like this genius multimillionaire who has sold several of his companies and doesn’t really have to worry about money, a la Bruce Wayne. So the guy gets all patriotic and decides he can find a better way to ward off swarming, small boat attacks, like the one that crippled the USS Cole, and instead of working with him, the Navy wants to steal his idea and technology and prevent him from offering it anyone else. What the hell? Not a good look, Navy.

All stories like this do is reinforce the fact that the US Government is too large and clumsy to do any of the fast-moving, cutting-edge work that geniuses like Sancoff are capable of bringing to the table. We see it happening in space exploration, and now it appears that it’s happening in the oceans. Get this man a contract.

Rest easy, Master Sgt Pittman:

Richard A. Pittman, a Marine who earned the Medal of Honor for charging into a North Vietnamese ambush under heavy fire and fending off dozens of enemy troops in 1966, died on Oct. 13 in Stockton, Calif. He was 71.

On July 24, 1966, Mr. Pittman was a lance corporal in Company I, Third Battalion, Fifth Marines, First Marine Division. His unit was moving down a narrow jungle trail near the demilitarized zone when Marines ahead of his position were attacked by a larger, concealed enemy force.

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Lance Corporal Pittman grabbed a machine gun and belts of extra ammunition and rushed ahead, firing into the enemy position. He destroyed two enemy automatic weapons and kept advancing, into what the Medal of Honor citation described as “a withering hail of enemy mortar and small-arms fire” to reach wounded Marines 50 yards up the trail.

“As he reached the position where the leading Marines had fallen, he was suddenly confronted with a bold frontal attack by 30 to 40 enemy,” the citation continued. “Totally disregarding his safety, he calmly established a position in the middle of the trail and raked the advancing enemy with devastating machinegun fire.”

There is not a fighting force in world history that can match the American infantryman.

“Advise and Assist” (eye roll):

The U.S. Army announced Thursday it will deploy 1,700 soldiers from the 82nd Airborne Division this winter to advise and assist Iraqi Security Forces currently trying to retake Mosul from Islamic State fighters.

The 82nd Airborne’s 2nd Brigade Combat Team, stationed at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, will deploy to the U.S. Central Command area of responsibility to take part in Operation Inherent Resolve, according to an Army press release.

The unit will replace the 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 101st Airborne Division, in training, advising and assisting the Iraqi forces.

“The 2nd Brigade Combat Team is highly trained, disciplined and fit,” said Col. James “Pat” Work, commander of 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 82nd Airborne.

In mid-October, the Army announced it will deploy about 500 soldiers from the Big Red One to Iraq this fall.

The ocean is really, really deep:

Well, this is one way to get into the military:

Dozens of people have been arrested at an army barracks in Kenya after turning up with fake call-up papers, it’s been reported.

Authorities say that the 57 were held when they arrived at the Recruits Training School at Moi Barracks in the city of Eldoret along with hundreds of genuine Kenya Defence Forces recruits, Nairobi News reports. All of those arrested held letters telling them to report there on 31 October following a nationwide army recruitment process, the paper says.

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According to Ali Samatar, the local director of criminal investigations, the fake letters were spotted because they “had anomalies and had not been genuinely issued by the State Department for Defence,” Kenya Standard reports. He says he’s liaising with the armed forces to find out where the letters came from, but he suspects “that parents and brokers who masquerade as senior military and police officials were involved in one way or another.” The offer of a job is the driving factor in a country where one-in-six young people are unemployed.

American hero set to dominate business world thanks to USC program:

LOS ANGELES (KABC) — USC was recently named among the best universities for veterans by the Military Times, and it is why longtime Trojan fan and US Army veteran Rob Fortner decided to apply.

“Here at USC they’ve really assisted us with taking our skills and instead of saying ‘What did you do,’ they would say ‘What do you know?'” Fortner said.

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Fortner is a Purple Heart and Silver Star recipient. He was an army medic shot twice in combat while saving lives.

He is also a cancer survivor and said continuing his education has given him much hope and ambition for his future.

“(It) instills really a sense of confidence that I am able to compete at an executive level in the civilian world,” Fortner said.

That is absolutely outstanding. Anecdotally, in my limited experience, I’ve found that America’s private institutions of higher education are FAR more veteran-friendly than the state-run universities.

Now imagine being inside this freaking thing:

This can’t be real:

Modern warfare is not cheap. But even among the priciest and most cutting-edge battle machines, the USS Zumwalt is in a class apart. The warship is the most expensive destroyer in the history of the Navy, costing about $4.4 billion.

Along with the hefty price tag comes a marvel of nautical engineering. During its October commissioning ceremony in Baltimore, the Associated Press reported that Adm. Harry Harris, commander of the United States Pacific Command, described the Zumwalt as the warship Batman would own.

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But even a billionaire playboy like Bruce Wayne would struggle to finance the ship’s guns, reported to fire ammunition costing $800,000 a round

…Lockheed Martin initially estimated that the projectiles would cost about $50,000 each. As Ars Technica noted, the current $800,000 price tag is closer to that of a $1 million-per-shot Tomahawk cruise missile, which is capable of carrying a nuclear warhead and traveling more than 1,000 miles. The LRLAP costs an order of magnitude more than other GPS- or laser-guided rounds, and far more than the shells fired by standard 5-inch artillery guns.

Damn, she fine:

HANFORD — A woman was arrested Friday after she stood naked yelling at people near the Kings Government Center, the Hanford Police Department said.

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Around 2:24 p.m., police responded to the area of Lacey Boulevard and South Drive regarding a woman who appeared to be naked and yelling at people. Officers reportedly found Catherine Defrance, 54, of Hanford, topless and exposing her breasts.

Police said Defrance put her shirt back on after officers arrived and was told she was under arrest on suspicion of indecent exposure. When officers tried to take her into custody, police said, Defrance began to wildly swing her head back and forth and attempted to swing at officers with a closed fist.

Yikes. The sad thing is I know dudes who would STILL hit it.

@BKactual

 

Featured image courtesy of NBC News.