* Cox Cable, you are USELESS. An internet outage affecting my area code has me typing this at the local coffee shop. Thankfully, the smelly hippy ratio is unusually low this morning. Short roundup this week. -BK  

They’re too stupid to be in my Air Force:

Four U.S. Air Force service members allegedly spray-painted satanic symbols on a historic South Carolina church, authorities said.

The suspects were arrested Thursday less than a day after law enforcement officials publicized a surveillance photo of the Sept. 29 incident at the Salem Black River Presbyterian Church in Mayesville, Sumter County, sheriff’s spokesman Ken Bell said in a statement.

Bell said Kayla Eilerman, 18, of Ingleside, Texas; Clayre Savage, 18, of Port Barre, Louisiana; Daveion Green, 19, of Leeland, North Carolina; and Brandon Munoz, 20, of Baltimore are now charged with trespassing, criminal conspiracy and malicious injury to a house of worship. It is unclear if Eilerman, Savage, Green and Munoz have lawyers…

…Police began investigating after a church parishioner reported finding the door kicked in and graffiti on three buildings. The four airmen from Shaw Air Force Base, however, did not enter the church. The property damage is estimated at $3,000, NBC affiliate WIS reported

…The church has been nearly unchanged since its construction in the 1840s, and has been listed in the National Register of Historic Places since 1978. It features a slave gallery supported by square paneled wooden pillars that extends along three sides.”

Follow me on Twitter and listen as I dissect Eminem’s freestyle: 

Following up of the Inappropriate-Texting General:

WASHINGTON  — The Army has sacked a two-star general who sent flirty messages to the wife of an enlisted soldier at his post in Italy, including one in which he referred to the woman as a “HOTTIE.”

Maj. Gen. Joseph Harrington until last month had commanded U.S. Army Africa from his post in Europe. USA TODAY first reported about the Facebook messages, triggering an inspector general’s investigation, Harrington’s suspension and now his firing.

Harrington’s dismissal was “due to a loss of confidence in his ability to command,” Army Col. Patrick Seiber, a spokesman, said in a statement. “The Army has been investigating allegations related to Maj. Gen. Harrington’s communications with the spouse of an enlisted soldier; however, since the review of the investigation is still ongoing, we can provide no further comment at this time.”

News Roundup Special: 2017 Year in Review

Read Next: News Roundup Special: 2017 Year in Review

Harrington’s removal is likely a career-killer for an officer whose future had seemed bright. He had been a top aide to the former Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Army Gen. Martin Dempsey.

Like several generals before him who have been snared in sex scandals, Harrington will probably be reassigned until the investigation is complete and then a board of officers will determine the rank in which he last served satisfactorily. That will determine his rank in retirement.”

‘Marginally Qualified’ indeed:

WASHINGTON — Faced with increasing demand for new soldiers, the Army has reached deeper into the pool of marginally qualified recruits, offered hundreds of millions in bonuses and relaxed the process for granting waivers for marijuana use.

The Army will reach its goal of 80,000 new soldiers without compromising quality, predicted Maj. Gen. Jeffrey Snow, who leads its recruiting command. The need for new soldiers comes as Congress has reversed trends begun in the Obama administration to downsize the military. An additional headwind for recruiting in all the service branches: a growing economy where civilian jobs, not joining the military, attract young people…

…In 2005, as long, hazardous deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan became common, the Pentagon relaxed standards for recruits who had fared poorly on standard military exams. Those who scored in the lower third of the tests, so called Category Four recruits, had been limited to 2% of new troops. The standard was relaxed to 4% and was exceeded at times.

The hazard of accepting recruits with poor qualifications was highlighted by a case from 2006 in which an Iraqi girl was raped and her family killed by soldiers, one of whom required waivers for minor criminal activity and poor educational background to join the Army.”

In the last fiscal year, 2017, the active-duty Army’s recruited nearly 69,000 soldiers, and 1.9% belonged to Category Four. That’s up from .6% in 2016. The lowest figure in recent years was in 2013 when it dipped to .2% Recruiting was easier several years ago, Asch noted, when the economy was still recovering from the deep recession.

The Pentagon mandates that the services accept no more than 4% of recruiting classes from Category Four.”

Class act right here:

I love that the social justice warriors self-identify:

A worker at a Texas fast-food restaurant was fired after she refused to serve two police officers, the company said Saturday.

In a lengthy post on the Denison Police Department’s Facebook page, Chief Jay Burch alleged the officers were cursed at by the employee and that the restaurant manager’s only response was “I don’t get into politics.”

“If a business does not want police officers as customers, just let us know,” Burch wrote. “There’s no need to curse us and make a scene, just let us know you don’t want us there and we’ll go somewhere else.”…

…Burch never named the restaurant, but local media outlets identified the restaurant as Whataburger, a popular Texas-based chain.

In a statement, a Whataburger spokesperson said “an individual employee acted out of line with Whataburger’s values to treat all customers with respect. We took swift action and this person is no longer employed by us.”

Denison Sgt. Holly Jenkins said on Facebook that the employee was unapologetic, expressed her hatred toward police and said she would continue to refuse service to police officers.”

Nationalism continues gains in Europe:

Austria’s conservative People’s Party, led by 31-year-old Sebastian Kurz, is set to win the country’s general election, projections suggest.

The victory would make Mr Kurz the world’s youngest national leader.

The People’s Party was set to win more than 31%. It is so far unclear whether the Social Democrats or the far-right Freedom Party will finish second.

Short of a majority, Mr Kurz’s party could seek an alliance with the anti-immigration Freedom Party.

Before the election, Mr Kurz served as Europe’s youngest-ever foreign minister, after he was appointed in 2013 aged just 27.

In May 2017 he became the leader of the People’s Party. He began his political career in the youth wing of the party, which he chaired before moving on to serve on Vienna’s city council.

Nicknamed “Wunderwuzzi” (roughly translated – someone who can walk on water), he has been compared to the young leaders of France and Canada, Emmanuel Macron and Justin Trudeau.”

OK… no freaking pomegranates, ya crazy broad:

I’m sorry about your son but no, you don’t get 100 million dollars of tax money:

WASHINGTON — The family of a Muslim Marine recruit from Taylor who died in a fall at boot camp last year after allegedly being hazed and abused is suing the government for $100 million for his death, claiming “negligence on multiple levels of command.”

The lawsuit filed in U.S. District Court in Detroit claims the Marines “fostered a culture of abuse and hazing” at the training base at Parris Island, S.C., that led to the death of 20-year-old Raheel Siddiqui in a three-story fall from a barracks stairwell in March 2016.

In the lawsuit, the family’s lawyer, Shiraz Khan of Southfield, wrote that “recurrent physical and verbal abuse of recruits by drill instructors, with a noted insufficiency of oversight and supervision” ultimately caused Siddiqui’s death.

The Marines have maintained that Siddiqui’s death, less than two weeks after he began boot camp, was a suicide, a conclusion that his family has rejectedalong with suggestions that Siddiqui was somehow not prepared for the rigors of Parris Island.

 The Corps did not immediately react to the lawsuit, a copy of which was sent to them by the Free Press on Saturday night.”

Five seconds of listening to this was bad enough: 

This dude kills himself within a year, right?:

The London Metropolitan Police have expanded their investigation into Harvey Weinstein to include three additional assault claims, according to the Associated Press.

The Met police have stated that a second victim, in addition to the woman who had already come forward regarding an assault in the 1980s, alleged on Saturday that she was assaulted by Weinstein in Westminster in 2010 and 2011, and in Camden in 2015, both neighborhoods in London.

Per the Met Police’s policy, no suspects or accusers have been named, but a statement reads that the man accused on Saturday is the same man accused Wednesday.

No arrests have been made. Weinstein has denied the allegations.

The London police opened the original investigation three days ago after a woman came forward accusing Weinstein of assaulting her in the London area in the 1980s.”

That’s some fine rigging, men:

Dude strips, charges with tomahawk, and gets tazed:

Police officers from Colerain and Springfield townships were able to disarm and subdue a naked Colerain Township man who attacked officers with a tomahawk and a bayonet Oct. 1.

Colerain Township police were called to the house at 11900 block of Pippin Road at 2:56 p.m. for domestic trouble. When they arrived at the house, Sean Arbuckle, 52, was barricading a screened-in porch and challenging officers verbally. Arbuckle stripped, and began swinging a tomahawk as he talked with officers. He told Officer Anthony Hatcher no one was leaving alive and he asked officers several times to shoot him.”

Arbuckle then began chanting and closing windows and doors, barricading one with a small couch. He continued to point the tomahawk and a bayonet at Arbuckle and another officer, demanding that the police kill him or he would kill them.

Colerain requested backup from Springfield Township and those officers arrived on the scene as the Colerain officers prepared to use PepperBall guns, which shoot a projectile filled with an irritant powder that causes incapacitating coughing and a burning sensation in the eyes, nose, throat, and skin.”