We’ve done 16 weeks straight of bringing you the weekly news, served up with healthy doses of name-calling, sarcasm, and haterade. I’m traveling all this week, so here’s a “best-of” News Roundup edition, featuring some of the stories all of you commented on the most, and some of the ones I enjoyed writing. We’ll be back to hit it hard next week. Follow us on twitter @sofep.com and follow me @BKactual. -BK

Let’s Jump Right Into This Freaking Abortion:

Two sexual-assault awareness events involving Army ROTC cadets on campuses thousands of miles apart combined to enrage some social-media commenters, trigger an Army Cadet Command review — and probably cause a few sore ankles.

On April 1, about 15 cadets from Temple University participated in a school-sponsored “Walk a Mile in Her Shoes” event, during which men stumble through a pre-set route while sporting high heels as a way to raise awareness for sexual assault victims. Several cadets walked while wearing Army Combat Uniforms, as did the school’s professor of military science, Lt. Col. Greg Nardi, who runs Temple’s Red Diamond Brigade.

Arizona State University’s ROTC cadet leadership also decided to have a complete frontal lobotomy:

Army ROTC cadets are complaining on message boards that they were pressured to walk in high heels on Monday for an Arizona State University campus event designed to raise awareness of sexual violence against women.

The Army openly encouraged participating in April’s “Walk A Mile in Her Shoes” events in 2014, but now it appears as though ROTC candidates at ASU were faced with a volunteer event that became mandatory.

“Attendance is mandatory and if we miss it we get a negative counseling and a ‘does not support the battalion sharp/EO mission’ on our CDT OER for getting the branch we want. So I just spent $16 on a pair of high heels that I have to spray paint red later on, only to throw them in the trash after about 300 of us embarrass the U.S. Army tomorrow,” one anonymous cadet wrote on the social media sharing website Imgr, IJReview reported Monday.

You have GOT to be crapping me here.

What’s next? You going to have the cadets wear rainbow freaking tank tops with ACU bottoms for the goddamn gay pride parade? I shouldn’t even say that. I’m sure it’s already in the works.

Let me clue you in on something, you pusillanimous pricks: A military uniform isn’t a freaking fashion statement that you’re free to accessorize how you see fit. Hence the term, “UNIFORM,” jackasses.

And check out the statement from the NCO they trotted out:

“I wish, as a collective, all the cyber-warriors would get all the facts before they started posting, but you can’t control that,” said Master Sgt. Doug Flach, senior military science instructor at Temple, who provided details on his program’s participation in the April 1 event.

Wow, listen to the contempt oozing from this NCO’s suck on the thought that he might have to explain himself to you plebes out there. But sure, I’ll listen. Oh, except:

Army Cadet Command refused to answer questions regarding the ASU event or the alleged complaints posted online, nor would officials make the school’s professor of military science, Maj. Michelle Bravo, available for an interview.

Can you believe these turds? Hey SARGE, here’s my attempt to get facts: When some idiot commander was about to not only violate uniform regs, but turn your ROTC platoon into a national freaking joke, where the hell where you, GUY? Oh, I know: you were off to the side nodding your head like a good little doggie instead of doing your goddamn DUTY, hoping you’ll get a good bullet point on your next fitness report. 

The entire command should be relieved immediately. Their senior enlisted advisors also need to go. Maybe they didn’t come up with this pile of vomit, but they did nothing to stop it, and so are equally culpable. This is an infection that needs to be stamped out.

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The Head of Army Cadet Command.

Let me give all of you aspiring officers and NCOs a tip. Before you decide to start experimenting in some wacky social justice crusade, think of the men who stormed the beach at Normandy. The men who froze in the Chosin reservoir. The men who patrolled the jungles of Vietnam. The men walking through the mountains of Afghanistan.  And then ask yourself, “Would they think this is awesome?” YOU WILL NEVER GO WRONG.

Jumping out of a plane? AWESOME. Climbing some mountains? AWESOME. Shooting some belt-feds at the range? AUDIE MURPHY’S GHOST IS FULLY ENGORGED. Parading around in high heels while wearing your uniform in public? DIE IN A FIRE.

And all of that aside, the concept is stupid, anyway. Not all women wear heels. Oh, and most sexual assault in the military is male on male, a fact that the pentagon is desperate to keep quiet for some reason. 

The military is investigating this atrocity, but it’s pointless. Here’s how it works: The command claims that  this is all voluntary, cadets WANTED to do it, etc. But in the real world, we all know the deal. Go against the program, and you’re deemed a trouble maker. There are whispers about your commitment. Furrowed brows appear when your name is mentioned. Maybe you get passed up for promotion for not being a “team player.” But nothing concrete is written down that can be damning evidence. That’s how this game is played.

This is such an embarrassment. A travesty. An ABOMINATION. I could write so much more, but I better quit before I really get going. The vein throbbing in my forehead is already giving me a headache.

GODDAMMIT.

Combat Controller Awarded Air Force Cross:

Senior Airman Dustin Temple will receive the Air Force Cross on May 6 for repeatedly braving enemy fire to gather ammunition and call in dozens of airstrikes, saving 38 lives during a 48-hour battle in September in Afghanistan.

Tech. Sgt. Matthew Greiner and Senior Airman Goodie Goodman will receive Silver Stars for their actions in the same battle. The airmen are assigned to the 21st Special Tactics Squadron, 24th Special Operations Wing, at Pope Army Airfield, North Carolina.

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The airmen were embedded with an Army Special Forces team when the team was ambushed by nearly 100 insurgents in Helmand province. The team of 38 were low on ammo when the airmen worked to control numerous aircraft, providing close-air support and saving the lives of the team, according to Air Force Special Operations Command.

I’ve already mentioned my Combat Control brothers in a couple other roundups, but I hadn’t heard about the Air Force Cross (second only to the Medal of Honor, for you civvies.) Keep in mind that this is an E-4 here, folks.  These young men are the absolute finest America has to offer. God DAMMIT, I’m going to do some pushups to work off all of this hooyah I’m feeling right now.

Hillary Clinton Finds Perfect Male Model For Hillary Merch:

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If there was ever a textbook male incarnation for the male Hillary Clinton supporter, it’s this guy that she found to hawk her campaign merchandise. Look at him; bask in his non-threatening glory. His pale skin. His complete lack of muscle tone. The soft, paunchy belly. His hairless chest. The beginnings of a glorious double chin.

You can tell he’s the kind of guy who would eagerly attend a “black lives matter” rally, as long as it didn’t have too many black people. He is not a homosexual, but kind of wishes he was. He is firmly ensconced in the Friend Zone with 17 women, all of whom hate themselves for banging bearded ex-marines who never call them. He has a subscription to Mother Jones magazine, considers Lena Dunham the voice of his generation, and believes the NRA is worse than ISIS.

Of course, being a good young liberal, he also fervently believes in giving illegal aliens the right to vote, and criminalizing speech with which he disagrees.  Both his handshake and genitals are limp, sweaty, and in all ways, unmemorable. He has never driven a car with a V8 engine, touched a gun, or used a power saw. He has never performed a deadlift. If a man attempts to look him in the eye while speaking with him, he sobs uncontrollably.

His wry smile that says, “Sure, MADAME SECRETARY Clinton has lied, hid documents, and taken tens of millions of dollars in bribe money donations from foreign governments for her grifter foundation, which only donates a tiny percentage while keeping the rest to pay for lavish salaries, meals, and travel around the world, possibly with underage prostitutes, but I’m still campaigning for her! Because Ted Cruz, Rand Paul, and Marco Rubio are GROSS RETHUGLICANS, AMIRITE?” 

And as bad as this model is? It can always be worse. (shudder)

Why Don’t You Go Ahead and Have a Seat:

DENVER (CBS4)– The Colorado Springs man who was caught viewing child pornography while on the Fort Carson Army Post has been sentenced to federal prison.

Francis Hector Calar was sentenced on Tuesday to seven years in federal prison followed by 10 years on supervised release. Calar, 54, was also ordered to pay $3,000 in restitution to each of the six victims that requested it.

Calar, a civilian military contract employee, was arrested in March 2014 after a military police officer caught him masturbating in his car outside a building with unsecured Wi-Fi on the Fort Carson Army Post.

There are fewer places that are worse places to masturbate than a military post, I would imagine. Can you believe this guy’s urges though? What, you couldn’t even wait until you got home?

Investigation revealed that he often parked outside that building to gain access to the unsecured Wi-Fi to view child pornography. Calar also visited specific chat rooms and searched for child pornography during breaks from work.

Court documents reveal that Calar became interested in child pornography about five or six years ago after his brother was arrested for sexual assault on a child.

I don’t believe that. I’m sure he’s had these urges his whole life. Maybe his brother was the catalyst in some way, like he figured, “hey, he’s doing it. So maybe I’m not crazy,” and started downloading stuff, but I’m willing to bet that he’s always been like this. In any event, it sounds absurd. Most people would be REPELLED it their family member was involved in child sex assault. But it turned him on?

Calar was active with children and coached youth volleyball for young girls and youth baseball for young boys. He was also active in his church and taught Sunday school for children there.

Authorities said Calar’s collection was organized by age and that he had more than 15,000 child pornography images and 764 child pornography videos on an external hard drive and other computer digital media.

This may sound super judgey of me, but here goes: I really don’t trust a man who takes that much interest in being around little kids. Think about it.  I know all dads love their kids, but they don’t want to BE AROUND them constantly. Like, I love my son, but when he was little, it was exhausting. I’d say, “ok, you can play with the neighbor kids. stay in the yard,” and then go crash out on the sofa.

And that’s with a guy’s OWN kid. Now he’s making all this effort to be around other people’s kids all the time? That’s sort of weird. And not just being around them at the house, but actively coaching 2 different sports AND teaching kids’ Sunday school?  Fathers should be slightly irritated being around young children at all times. A policy of benign neglect is really for the best.

Too harsh?

“Reality” Television Star to Receive Courage Award:

Almost 40 years ago, Bruce Jenner’s Olympic success came as a result of strengthening both his mind and body leading to his status as one of the world’s greatest athletes, but the decision to publicly come out as a transgender woman took a different kind of courage and acceptance of one’s self. To celebrate that bravery, ESPN today announced that Jenner will be presented with the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at The 2015 ESPYS Presented by Capital One. Presented annually to individuals whose contributions transcend sports, the Arthur Ashe Courage Award is the pinnacle of the sports celebration, which will be televised Wednesday, July 15, at 8 p.m. ET on ABC from Nokia Theatre L.A. LIVE.

We, the vast, vast staff at the thenewsrep.com news roundup, don’t just bring you stories about the military. No, we take pride in keeping our fingers on the jugular of our whacky American political/pop culture. Plus, it was a slow military news week. So it was fascinating to watch the country react to the Bruce Caitlyn Jenner Vanity Fair magazine cover, and muse over all of the existential questions raised.

*TRIGGER WARNING FOR HARD TRUTHS*: This is America, where if someone feels like changing their name, they should damn well be able to. So Caitlyn it is. However, I will continue to use the proper gender pronoun of “he,” since Jenner is a male with a penis, I believe in science, and I’m not a crazy person. If Jenner’s corpse is exhumed by scientists in a thousand years, they will look at his skeleton and say, “yep, here we have a male homo sapiens.” I’m not going to pretend to admire the emperor’s fine clothes with these nut jobs and their robots in the media.

First off, I enjoyed a hearty guffaw by seeing the usual feminist scolds, who, having in the past excoriated media for promoting “unrealistic” body images of women, now cheering on a photo that was airbrushed within an inch of its life. Not to mention the best makeup, hair, and lighting teams in the world to project an image that, most assuredly, does not resemble the reality of a 65 year old man. It smacks of a sort of desperate propaganda, with Vanity Fair practically screaming, “LOOK! LOOK EVERYONE HOW GLAMOROUS AND NORMAL THIS IS!!”

Also, I found a sort of irony in the photo chosen for the magazine cover. The social justice warriors have railed for how long now against gender stereotypes? We’ve covered this in past news roundups (remember the “controversial” subway beach body ads?) And yet, when it comes time to have Caitlyn Jenner on the cover of a magazine, instead of an image that defies theses traditional stereotypes, they go with an image of Jenner fully coiffed and made up to appear as a sexpot straight out of a 1950s pulp magazine cover.

Now, my amusement from the shrieking SJWs aside, my first thoughts were of the Libertarian variety. If Jenner wants to undergo surgery to change himself into what he honestly feels inside, who am I to tell him otherwise? This is America, after all, and I am a huge believer in the equality of all men and women, and individual liberty, especially when it comes to personal lifestyle choices. I mean, I like to watch “Golden Girls” while doing nude yoga poses covered in crisco, for chrissakes.

And Jenner was, in fact, a Hollywood celebrity who has spoken in the past of his love for America and the Constitution. These were my first thoughts as I sprung into action on the twitter machine:

But I’ve been thinking about this a lot this week. And the more I think about it, the more uneasy I find myself becoming with the whole thing.

First, these surgeries: Do doctors and psychiatrists really feel that extreme body modification is the answer? After all, if it is ok to slice and dice a man into marginally resembling a female, is it ok to, say, amputate a perfectly functional, yet unwanted limb? And yes, that’s a thing. Is it ok to aid a man into turning himself into a tiger (suicide,) or a lizard, or adding horns? What if a white male identifies as, say, a black female? WHO ARE YOU TO SAY THAT HE IS NOT?

If the answer to these is “yes,” then we really are going down the rabbit hole. This would mean that there is virtually no limit placed on how we see ourselves, regardless of truth, because there is no truth, and no limits placed on how we modify ourselves.  How far are plastic surgeons willing to go? Are we all destined to end up as cyborgs anyway?  Should we embrace it, or condemn it?

In other psychological issues, the opposite is the treatment. A young girl cutting herself with a knife isn’t encouraged to continue wounding herself as self-expression. An anorexic person, who looks in a mirror and sees someone obese, isn’t taken off to the O.R. to get her stomach stapled to match her vision. Schizophrenic patients aren’t counseled that the voices in their heads and their imaginary companions, are, in fact, reality, and that everyone should play along with the charade.

But when it comes to transgender patients, we’re told permanent, life-changing, disfiguring surgery is the best option, even though the vast majority of patients with transgender feelings grow out of them, a fact that even the most radical transgender advocates will freely admit. Could it be that the American Psychological Association is reluctant to challenge the status quo because just about every member is a far-left liberal in good standing? Could it be that, reluctant to publish anything that goes against the powerful LBGT lobby, researchers are just making things up that fit what they believe on a personal level, not a professional one?

And the jury is still definitely out on the efficacy of surgical transformation. There’s a reason Johns Hopkins University, a pioneer in early sex change operations, no longer does the surgery. There are plenty of examples of former transgender citizens returning to their original status, including Los Angeles Times sportswriter Mike Penner, who transitioned to a woman to great acclaim. Penner would quietly revert back to his male identity, only to commit suicide shortly after. Of course, the activists who had cheered him on had left town by then. Perhaps, faced with a suicide rate that is simply staggering, a better option may be to focus less on the quick, slapdash fix of surgery and try the longer, harder route of learning to love one’s own natural body instead.

There are other issues. One advantage Jenner has is extreme wealth. He is easily able to afford the massive amount of plastic surgery that he’s already undertaken, and the really big ones yet to come. But most people battling this condition don’t have unlimited resources to try and use elective surgery to turn themselves into something they’ll never be. Now, that used to be none of my business, but since Medicare is supposed to cover these surgeries now, and judges are ordering prisons to provide sex change surgeries for murderers, it’s now very much my business. Personally, I’d rather my tax money go to little kids fighting cancer or needing organ transplants, but that’s just me. There is a finite amount of funding, after all.

And once that final surgery is done, that’s it: There is no going back. And it’s pretty common knowledge that plastic surgery isn’t this magic cure-all for people’s psychological feelings of inadequacey or low self-esteem. If you’re living in a rotten house, slapping a new coat of paint on the walls isn’t going to do shit. Our society loves to poke fun at the insecurities of plastic surgery-obsessed soccer moms, even questioning the mental health of those who can’t stop altering their bodies, but suddenly shuts up when a man does the most extreme surgery in existence.

As to the Arthur Ashe Courage award from ESPN? Look, it’s their award, and they are free to give it whomever they want. And if there is anything that pudgy, effete, jock-sniffing WEENIE sportswriters love more than sucking off athletes, it is advancing progressive politics. I’ve written about this extensively before, particularly King Wiener Bob Costas. But this is their first choice?

Past winners included Muhammed Ali, who defied the U.S. government, was hated by much of the American public, and went to prison for his beliefs. They include Todd Beamer, Jeremy Glick, Mark Bingham, and Tom Burnett, the men who charged the terrorists on September 11th Flight 93.  They include Jim Valvano. Pat Tillman. Billy Jean King.

There were plenty of deserving candidates, helpfully pointed out by the internet. There was college basketball player Lauren Hill, who continued to play on her team while battling the brain cancer that would eventually kill her. Or Sergeant Noah Galloway, who became a double amputee when he was hit by an IED in Afghanistan. (And yes, stupid media, I’m aware they weren’t runners up: THEY WEREN’T EVEN CONSIDERED.)

Sergeant Galloway would go on to become a personal trainer, fitness competitor, and motivational speaker. It doesn’t get much more courageous than that. Hell, they could have given it posthumously to Lt. Colonel White, mentioned above, for his athleticism as well was transcended by his incredible service and sacrifice for the nation’s space program.

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Jenner isn’t exactly the greatest person in the world. There’s no denying he was a highly accomplished athlete. However, he ran out of his kid’s lives, leading one to quip, “I hope Caitlyn is a better person than Bruce.” He carries the stench of the Kardashian virus, an infectious disease from which the United States may never recover. And let’s not forget he just killed someone in a traffic accident, still under investigation. (Boy, that disappeared, huh?)  So: a fame-hungry reality TV show actor who received elective surgery to universal acclaim from the adoring media/showbiz/political complex, while any criticism is muted out of fear, is courageous?

This all smacks of such… COORDINATION. The surgery, the magazine cover, the awards ceremony, and his new show, all coming together in some sort of sick reality TV production. This is something that should be serious, accompanied by serious questions and debate about gender, medical and scientific ethics. Instead, it’s turned into this circus-tent Kardashian train wreck. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if Jenner calls OFF the surgery next year… JUST IN TIME FOR SWEEPS WEEK! Frankly, this is grotesque, and regular people, battling regular-people transgender issues, should be embarrassed and insulted.

As for these demented activists, a laissez faire position is no longer acceptable. When they aren’t ogling your humble author’s tall, dark, chiseled athletic frame, they are, in true Orwellian fashion, scrubbing Wikipedia and changing birth certificates to cleanse the world of these triple-plus ungood thoughts. I believe most people probably fall somewhere in the middle of a wide spectrum of belief: They don’t have a moral problem with surgical transgenders or think they should be persecuted in any way, but they probably don’t think it’s awesome, either. Only now, mere shrugging of the shoulders and indifference to peoples lifestyles doesn’t cut it. YOU WILL CELEBRATE JENNER OR ELSE. And that’s what annoys the shit out of me.  

So yeah. An award for courage. What do you think of that?

Well, Everything Seems to be in Order Here:

The Special Forces group that ousted the Taliban from Afghanistan in 2001 is preparing to deploy to Jordan to train Syrian rebels to fight the Islamic State, but many of the U.S. military’s most elite warriors have a gnawing fear that those efforts may be too little, too late.

Four years after the start of the uprising against Syrian president Bashar al-Assad, the Army’s 5th Special Forces Group is getting ready to establish a multinational special operations task force in Jordan to train and equip Syrian rebel forces that the United States deems “moderate” — which means allied with neither the Islamic State nor al Qaeda’s local affiliate, al-Nusra Front.

But daunting challenges lie ahead for 5th Group. They include finding and vetting enough moderate rebels to make a difference on the battlefield; potential friction with the CIA, which has its own rebel training program going on in Jordan; the Obama administration’s refusal to let special operations forces fight alongside the rebel forces they have trained; and a confusing chain of command that none of the relevant American military headquarters seem willing or able to explain.

Everyone got that? We have no idea what we’re doing, or who we are supposed to be doing it with, and nobody knows who is is charge. LET’S DO THIS! Good luck, men… you’ll need it.

Vetting Syrian rebels? How are you going to do that, exactly?

SF guy: “So, Ahmed… Do you hate the infidels?”

Syrian terrorist moderate rebel: “Maybe?”

SF guy: “OK, you’re in. Here’s a million dollars.”

You Aren’t Going Anywhere, Son:

The FBI has arrested two men — one of them a current member of the Illinois National Guard — for allegedly trying to launch attacks in the U.S. and overseas on behalf of ISIS, the brutal terrorist group wreaking havoc in Syria and Iraq, authorities said.

Army National Guard Specialist Hasan Edmonds, 22, was arrested at Chicago Midway International Airport as he was trying to fly to Egypt and ultimately join ISIS in Syria or Iraq, according to authorities. His cousin, Jonas Edmonds, 29, was arrested at his home in Aurora, Illinois, authorities said.

I think we need to start weeding these guys out ourselves and stop waiting for the FBI to catch them. Just start working it into any conversation you have with someone you suspect of having jihadist sympathies. It shouldn’t be that hard to pick up clues; these guys love the flowery prose and fierce rhetoric that comes with being a soldier for Allah.

“Hasan, good morning. Nice day out, isn’t it?”

“Good morning, it is indeed a nice day.”

“Any plans to join the Islamic State?”

“ALLAHU AKBA.. um…no?”

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