Okay, here’s the deal.  I’m going to do a service for all you aspiring SOF warriors, wanna-be firefighters, newly-enlisted sailors, soldiers, airmen, and Marines, and all other soon-to-be “new guys” out there.  I am going to clue you almost-rookies in on some secrets.  You are going to want to pay close attention to these facts, and maybe even write them down in case you’re apt to forget them in the throws of your “welcome aboard” hazin….errr…..I mean, “orientation.”

There ain’t no such thing as an “ID-10T” form.  Don’t be an idiot and spend all day trying to find one.  It don’t exist.

You’re as likely to find a box of grid squares as you are the batteries for the sound-powered phone.  Think before you hop-to and start asking for imaginary shit.

Image courtesy of the Duffel Blog

There ain’t no blinker or headlight fluid out there, whether in the military or the fire service, so don’t go hunting for the blinker fluid or the headlight fluid.  People’s gonna be laughin’ at you, son!

If anyone asks you to go and locate the hose stretchers, wire stretchers, striped paint, IR smoke, or a bucket of steam, you need to just laugh it off and reply with “come on, man.”

Same goes for an engine room air sample or an exhaust sample.  Do not grab a garbage bag and try to collect such a thing, for you will be thought a fool.

Radios do not need frequency grease or a can of squelch, nor is there such a thing as a PRC-E7 radio.

There ain’t no yards of flight line you can round up either, or cases of dehydrated water to go with your MREs.