F me sideways in a Jet Blue airplane bathroom… Hollywood’s outdone itself this time, trading in authenticity for the lifeless adventures of a misogynist plastic doll.

The world’s ablaze, and yet Tinseltown’s virtuosos are rallying around…Barbie. Not just another hit; she’s a viral sensation, an Instagram queen riding a wave of artificial adoration by women and men alike.

It’s one thing to take your daughter to Barbie, quite another to dress yourself in pink and post on your IG feed.

What would your drill sergeant say!? A few expletives come to mind.

Escapism in 2023? It’s redefined the word.

Our planet’s simmering, governments are imploding, Putin is scrambling, Trump is scheming, and pandemics have overstayed their welcome, but here we are, munching on buttery popcorn and mesmerized by the twirling spectacle of a plastic figurine on the big screen. It’d be laugh-out-loud funny if it wasn’t a horrifying indictment of our times.

Barbie’s world, a dizzying display of synthetic perfection – her skin as flawless as french snow, hair styled to a T, and a bottomless wardrobe that even the Kardashians would covet. It’s an opiate for the masses, a glistening illusion that distracts us from the grim, raw world outside. It’s the Matrix, alright, only it’s Barbie offering us the blue pill.

Escapism is therapeutic; no question about it. We all need some respite from life’s incessant pummeling. But when we start mistaking plastic for people, when a doll becomes the aspiration of our youth, the alarm bells should start ringing.