Now, being the rad-savvy fellow that I do fancy myself, I have cast my vote for the ‘click-bait’s most pointless panic conspiracy of the year award, the Fukushima Reactor pollution of the entire Pacific Ocean, or as The Odyssean might describe: “Radioactive Refuse Wreaks Ruin on Recreational Reefs!” That guy has got the roaring twenties reporter blood racing through his veins; am I right?

But first, allow me to introduce myself: I was known in my 16 years after the military as “Geo of the Desert”, the radioactive desert that is. Yes, I worked for those years on the Nevada (Nuclear) Test Site, or whatever is the latest name they changed it to, to rob the taxpayers of a Cresses wealth, bolstering site productivity by absolute zero in the process.

Allow me just this one tangent, because this has been a (captive) pet peeve of mine for an eon now. Government organizations that are floundering, generally because of urine-impoverished management, or no management, all tend to flail after that one Hail Mary (saving) Grace, the panacean name change!

Here’s how it works:

The manager assembles a Root Cause Analysis (RCA) committee of hard, pipe-hittin’ professionals to get to the bottom of the constant ruddy budget they are sitting on. The team passes around a list of email addresses for the first one to two weeks, to check that their email address is correct, in the event another member of the team wants to transmit blame to them electronically rather than in person.

The team convenes for several months, to the tune of about $1,000,000.00 per month, at which point they announce that the committee is hung, and would rather opt for an Abridged Gap Analysis (AGA) venture instead. More months and millions go by and the committee announces their finding: the title of the manager’s office does not effectively represent the scope of expertise of said office. Therefore the title must be changed!

But to what?

Now a new committee is formed to craft a new title for the Office of the Director of Jack Q. Shit. Again the months and millions, and the RCA followed by the AGA. Problem: nobody on the ‘committee’ is really ‘committed’ to a quality final product; they are only concerned that they demonstrate they are the smartest one in the room, and only their ideas are worthy of selection.