Girl locks boyfriend in suitcase for four hours

Ms. Sarah Boone and Mr. Jorge Torres both 42 years old — a nation mourns.

This is terrible, I’ll throw that out there right now. It’s interesting to me because at face value I didn’t want to deride the story really, but then after reading it through, I became somewhat intoxicated by the raw, categorical, unadulterated, uncircumcised stupidity of some of our country’s gypsy-ass cracker trash.

Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be… 42, cheap apartment living-in, drunken, lying, bad haircut-havin’, white trash boyfriend named Jorge.

Boone, on the other hand, is a laminated card-carrying moron. She is on record with the National Archives and Records Administration as being a Fully Mission-Qualified (FMQ) moron — the sister has the letters “FMQ” tattooed on her thigh.

When Moses finished chatting up the burning bush on top of Mount Sinai (Mount Horeb), he carried down the stone tablets etched with the commandments and the tenth one read: “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s wife… and BTW Sarah Boone is a biblically-proportioned Moron, but I still love her for she is my child.”

Sarah just almost got away with murder, but for one tiny detail that she overlooked at the crime scene. She overlooked that she is a FLAMING-YELLOW MORON!! The hide-n-seek cover story leaked like a chicken wire canoe. I’m a pretty old guy, but I still recall that the only principle to hide-n-seek was that you weren’t supposed to know where the only person was hiding — right? I mean if Sarah had to help Jorge “hide” then what was the purpose, said every policeman on the planet.

Rescuing Karzai, America's elite Special Operations aviators in action

Read Next: Rescuing Karzai, America's elite Special Operations aviators in action

But in her defense, I can tell you that when I was teaching my three-year-old Small Daughter to play hide and seek she insisted that she put me in all the hiding places herself, then she counted to ten and came straight to my hiding place — “Suprise!” and I had to act all shocked and surprised that she (somehow) found me. Yeah but… three years old; Sarah is 42 — FAIL!

Sarah to detectives: “N’ they-en I cawlled out ‘OLIE-OLIE OLSEN FREEE-OOO!’ as loud as I could fer tin minites ’til I passed out on the bay-ed.”

Judge: “Has the jury reached a verdict?”

“Yes we have, your Honor.”

“Jury, how do you find the defendant?”

“Your Honor, we the jury find the defendant not guilty by reason of having called out ‘Olie-olie olsen freee-ooo.”

Years later in some courtroom:

“Your Honor, the defense would like to reference precedence set in the case of Torres vs Olie-olie olsen freee-ooo.”

Judge: “You may proceed, councilman.”

Night Stalkers Don’t Quit…Only the Best Need Apply

Read Next: Night Stalkers Don’t Quit…Only the Best Need Apply

Investigating detectives were also highly suspicious of a timer they discovered, set for exactly four hours, sitting on Sarah Boone’s nightstand in her bedroom.

Scumbags Rob Holocaust Survivor

“Carlene Henry Davis, 51, of Sunrise, FLA., is accused of stealing nearly $21,000 while caring for 102-year-old Holocaust survivor Irmgard Deutsch before Deutch’s death in 2018, court records show. Davis joins Marcia Wood, 56, of Miami, and Lawrence Mark Krupnick, 72, of Hollywood, FLA., who also face charges in the case. (Broward County Sheriff’s Dept./TNS)” (AmericanMilitaryNews.com).

There is something about committing a crime against an elderly person that is somehow a darker shade of black than committing a crime against… say… a skateboarder. Logically there shouldn’t be, but ethically and pathetically there just seems to be, or so we humans feel.

There is something about committing a crime against an elderly person who is sick, invalid, and in the care of an institution that is somehow an even darker shade of black still.

And gosh darn it, there is something, though I’m loath to admit I cannot touch its nose with my fingertip, about committing a crime against an elderly invalid who out of dumb stupid retarded luck, selfishly managed to survive, uh, the Holocaust! That is yea by far the darkest shade of deep ebony charcoal the mind can even hold. Black Hole-black is the hue of that level of contempt and greed — pure unmitigated acute vanity.

Just the Holocaust.

Get off your high horse, Geo.

Yeah, you’re right. You know as a young boy growing up in Oklahoma we had a Holocaust survivor couple living on our street. We would go over there routinely and trample their vegetable garden and flower beds, tip over their garbage cans, throw eggs at their cars. Poor folks… made it all the way through the Holocaust just to find a flaming bag of dog poo on their porch. At night we executed the funniest thing of all: we knocked on their door, then ran and hid snickering in the bushes. We called it “local gentry of incidental leisure-knocking.”

Welcome back from the Holocaust!

Well, we never really did those things to actual Holocaust survivors that I’m aware of, but folks actually did commit these crimes against a survivor. Why they do it — greed, greed, greed. And greed comes from vanity, vanity, vanity! They were doubtless not trying to make the victim wish she had never survived the Holocaust just to be sadistic — they were just vain.

But again Logos dictates that there is no punishment bonus for committing crimes against such victims, I mean there is no “Holocaust Clause” applied to charges by the magistrate. Ethos and Pathos want there to be one, but Logos won’t let it happen — while Bathos is busy switch-hitting on the ballfield. So why even mention the victim’s past — media journalistic drama, that’s why.

“A guy was robbed.”

“That’s too bad.”

“A Holocaust victim was robbed.”

“Oh my freakin’ God, that is just awful!!”

But in the end, we have to remember: “the Holocaust never happened.” Well, it really did happen; it just happened on the moon. But no it didn’t because we were never there either. Neil Armstrong was never the first man on the moon, he was the first gay flight attendant employed by Trans World Airlines (TWA) — that’s as high up as he ever got.

More Bio Genius’ and their level-C Personal Protective Equipment (PPE)

This guy chose this pie plate to wear over his moon-shaped face — the seal proved to be very tight. The man died of asphyxiation on this metro.
This upper-cruster found that a cow patty made a splendid protective mask once a hole was created in the center allowing air to flow in. The man died there on the metro of methane poisoning.
It is not specifically understood what in blazes this bottom-dweller was wearing but he scared the phuq out of all the kids on his block and contracted Covid-19 any way. Locals say he had been wearing that same mask for years before the outbreak of the coronavirus. The gentleman died there in the metro of choking on a ham sandwich while trying to simultaneously sing “Make Your Own Kind of Music.”
This active SOFREP reader and member of the Crate Club found an actual use for a Crate delivery… plenty of open slots to let in unfiltered air. The man survived the metro ride, but suffered third-degree rostrum splinters.
You know how some folks go in the restroom and come out unwitting of some toilet paper embarrassingly stuck to the back of their pants? The same phenomenon occurred to this bro when he was blowing his nose. Please let’s none of us tell him about it! This cretin died there on the metro when he was attacked by other passengers for being a flaming-yellow moron.
This cage à fou murdered his African Finch so he could render its cage into this outer security perimeter back up to his surgical mask. This simpleton died just outside the metro when he was overwhelmed and pecked to death by a Hitchcock flock of pigeons.
Martin Bird found out he could make his wife Dickie shut! the! phuq! up! by throwing a cloth over her head and making her go to sleep. The woman died when her cloth fell off and she continued talking to her distraught husband.

Love yooz all madly!

By Almighty God and with honor,
geo sends