Women’s Coronavirus Challenge

What we are seeing in this video clip is called “whores.” A whore will do anything for money or attention; that is, as long as it doesn’t require any book-learnin’ or education or anything that the studious classes of toil have to do. Most (all?) of what a whore does is fundamentally without forethought and holistically in piss-poor taste.

By poor taste in these whores’ cases, I mean they have made a mockery of a disease pandemic that is worldly in scope. That means that not only do the approximately 350,000,000 people in America hate her cocksucking guts, but the rest of the approximately four billion people within the pandemic’s reach also hate her cocksucking guts; the more people that die from the virus, the more people will hate these whores.

Aaand she’s single too, fellows!

But they don’t have to be smart, or kind, considerate, polite, compassionate, or noble… because they’re pretty, and there will always be bro-dudes in sports bars that will suck up to them no matter how many toilet seats they lick. But ain’t that American — land of the free, purple mountains from sea to shining sea, little pink houses for you and me… toilet seat licking whores.

I’m guessing her next stunt will be to travel to the Auschwitz/Birkenau memorials in Oświeńcim, Poland and play Deadpool’s “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” really really loudly. I find it ironic (to say the least) that the blond person held her hair back as she licked the seat so it wouldn’t touch the toilet — what??

OMG, the freakin’ Chineez just crapped on the entire world!!

And of course, there’s no toilet paper left…

Well, you know how in America we like to say — but not necessarily practice — “Own your mistakes”? meaning of course that one should have the integrity to admit to a mistake and affect damage control rather than fire up the blame thrower and waste the entire front rows of coworkers. The Chineez aren’t so much down with that idea.

Let’s see. So recently in the course of crapping on other nations, the Chineez had a moment of motion economic brilliance:

“Hey, Wang Chung… you know this crapping on one nation at a time is both tedious and time-consuming — we need to come up with a system that is both efficacious and exploits best practices of the principle of economy of motion.”

“Now, let me get this straight, Wu Tang Cran… are you suggesting we come up with a dissemination methodology that allows us to inflict multiple nations simultaneously?”

“Precisery, Wang Chung — now let’s get busy!!” — enter Coronavirus’ COVID-19.

“Hey, Wu Tang Cran, who all’s going to new Pizza place and when?”

“Everybody, Wang Chung — tonight!”

Everybody pretty much… Wang Chung tonight.

And so China took a step back, took a deep breath in, and took a shit… ON THE WHOLE WORLD. Then they got mad at America for referring to COVID-19 as the Chineez Virus. China would be really pissed if they knew that I have designated the pandemic as “YP-19” — Yellow Plague-(20)19. Rather than own their mistake and being adults about their global faux pas they tried to accuse America of transmitting the virus to the city of Wu Han via American soldiers who competed in athletics there.

The Chineez after getting their asses whipped in yet another event against the American Army in Wu Han.

Clearly the Chineez are just pissed because we whipped them in every athletic match except ping-pong. And in fact, the Americans were well ahead of the Chineez in ping-pong, until our players started feeling tired and achy, coughing, sore throats, nausea, and sweating…

Your Weekend News Roundup: Toilet seat licker contracts COVID-19, 16-year-old man-handles kidnapper, Chinese information operations against the US

Read Next: Your Weekend News Roundup: Toilet seat licker contracts COVID-19, 16-year-old man-handles kidnapper, Chinese information operations against the US

We only hope that it is just a global pandemic, China, because scientists from the FAST Radio Observatory in SW China have been picking up radio signals from Alpha Centarus that translate to: “Say, we don’t feel so good.” China is the first to discover alien life in the Milkyway Galaxy — and then they killed it.

There is no honor in being in China, where the highest motivation that exists among the citizens is the motivation to get the fuck OUT of China — even if it kills them, and until then to copy Americans in every aspect possible of their lives. They have almost got it right; here are some of their latest rip-offs of Americana:

Level-One Rip-Offs

The level-One Americana rip-off is affected simply by changing a single letter in the name of a particular establishment, such as in this example the final “T” in Pizza Hut was changed to a random “H.” Though completely unintentional by design and largely a product of serendipity, it was discovered that most people upon taking a bite of the food there exclaimed: “Pizza… HUH??”

Yes, pizza is eaten with chopsticks in china; or rather, the plate is placed near the mouth and the pizza then shoved into the mouth with the versatile implement that is chopsticks… because chopsticks will not support pizza well! It is ironic that a country that bred the SARS virus, the Bird Flu virus, and the Coronavirus in its filth is too squeamish to touch a slice of pizza.

Pizza… what?
An example of another simple level-one rip-off.

Level-Two Rip-Offs

This next ripoff is a little trickier than the Pizza Huh, involving a much more sophisticated and complex encoding of letters. I’ll just go ahead and break it down for you right now so you don’t waste so much time trying to decipher it: Rather than change the last letter to some random characters like “STARBUCK-LE”, or “STARBUCK-ET”, they swapped out entire words bringing the name from Starbucks (that’s the original American name, BTW) to “Buckstar.” So from “STARBUCK” we end up with “BUCKSTAR”. That’s how they do it in a nutshell; I don’t want to get into the weeds of the works — that level of detail is beyond the scope of this essay.

See if you can guess the original American Coffee chain that this was stolen from — no peeking at the cipher key!!

Level-Three Rip-Offs

In this most complex of the rip-off levels, the entire mascot of the chain is completely replaced with another version. Here we see that the Kentucky Colonel plantation boss is replaced by the former Commander In Chief of the National Command Authority, Barick Obama. Well, the Chineez are proving once and for all that sex definitely sells. If that is not readily manifest in the below OFC add, then have a look at the add for Nancy Pelosi’s In and Out Burger — you will be a believer!

Obama Fried Chicken — try the Family-Sized POTUS Pail!
The original Ronald McDonald clown at the Chineez restaurants was replaced with this much creepier version — make Buddah happy!

Oxymoron from non-Occimorons
Facebook was banned from china many years ago substituted by this government-owned and operated an alternate site called Wei Bo (微博). But notice here there is the usual option we typically see on our Internet: “Login with Facebook” — WTF?

Come on!!


Level-one rip-off


Level-one rip-off


What I thought was a gender-neutral bathroom is actually a unisex bathroom. Ok, so that is actually the same thing — right? For those who know how wacky Chineez translations into English can read, I’ll tell you the direct translation of the Chineez there reads: “without sex distinction public watercloset”.

ISIS warns terrorist to steer clear of Europe until virus is checked

ISIS getting the word of Allah out to its fighters.

ISIS has issued a new caliphate-level policy, directive in nature, steering its terror operatives to avoid Europe completely until such time as Europe can clean up its act from COVID-19, making it safe once again for terrorists to get back in there and sabotage communications infrastructure. ISIS is urging any of its people who are able to remain in the Levant and work over the phone from home to do so. If not, ISIS cautions its people to disinfect bombsites with a slurry of three parts water and one part bleach prior to installation and to wash their hands vigorously after.

Suicide bombers are exempt from the new standing ISIS travel and work policy.

News Flash: Mullah Jusef ibn Ali Talib is the first ISIS fighter to contract the Coronavirus.

News Flash: Due to the outbreak of the Coronavirus pandemic, buffets all across America are urging patrons to pick up a clean plate when coming back for seconds — do not use the same plates!!

News Flash: Due to the Coronavirus threat Vicky’s Vittles Family-Style Restaurant on East Central Avenue Albuquerque, NM is closed!

Let me close with this one last message to China.

By Almighty God and with honor,
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