Asshole contracts COVID-19 from Licking Toilet Seat

Young Larz just wanted girls to notice and like him. That was the reason he gave, for licking a toilet seat, during a bedside interview recently. Larz, as it seems, is an INCEL and has never been able to get a date with a live person, and that’s not about to change anytime soon thanks to the vacuum that exists in his life were parental guidance was supposed to have been.

Licking a toilet seat you say… hey, what is the difference, really, between licking a toilet seat and going VFR-Direct to a completely naked ass. I mean why not skip the middle-man and lay into a nude buttock of a stranger? Find out how many licks it takes to get to the chewy tootsie roll center. If licking a stranger’s ass is what floats the boats of our youths, I avail myself to these spirited youngsters that want to truly make a name for themselves — my ass is pretty strange, they are wholeheartedly welcome to lick my ass to gain their notoriety.

And strap this on for a couple of minutes of deep thought: In New Jersey, you are subject to paying a $1,000.00 fine for failure to comply with measures to curtail the spread of the Coronavirus. Would you agree that wantonly inflicting yourself with the Coronavirus is in violation of efforts to slow the spread?

“I JUST wanna be loved — is that so wron-guh?

Would you go so far as to say that licking is in keeping with preventing or facilitating the spread of the Coronavirus? If I leave my house without wearing a protective mask and get a $1k fine, would licking a toilet seat also warrant the same fine? What I am saying is these kids who are putting all of us at risk with their juvenile bullshit should be paying steep fines.

And I understand that none of the little phuqrz has any money to pay a $1k fine — their parents will, of course, have to pay those fines for the kids. I blame the ass-lickers’ parents for the conduct of their ass-licking kids. Especially that whore Eva Louise who started all of this. She generated over $4,000.00 with her ass-licking stunt. Doesn’t she owe us a quarter of that?

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Eva Louise has claimed that her crapper-licking stunt was for clout. She had previously appeared on “Dr. Phil” twice in 2019.

In this most recent interview, Dr. Phil asked, “If you infect one person that loses their life, is it worth it for you to have this attention?”

“Yeah,” she answered.  With that, Eva Louise admitted that it is ok for you or me to die if it gets her some attention — fair trade?

16-year-old boy man-handles kidnapper

Mega-badass Troy Bower from Las Cruces, NM!

This is a cool story because it involves a 16-year-old bruiser from a highschool wrestling team who took down and subdued a kidnapper until the cops arrived. The kidnapper was blatantly trying to snatch three young children from their mother at a convenience store. The brother was just there with his dad getting gas, saw the commotion and responded.

The kidnapper was no joke; he was beating the hell out of a bunch of people in the process of snatching the children. Our hero, Troy, augered the scumbag into the ground and restrained him in a chokehold until the Po-Po showed up and took over.

Aside from the obvious reasons to like this story I just love how it was a 16-year-old little brother who had the nuts to help when he recognizes the need. Also, he is a civilian. I mean we all love when GIs get involved and take care of this sort of business, and it seems to happen often. I’ll tell you it is because people expect that from GIs and frankly GIs expect it of themselves.

Sure, we GIs did not swear the same oath as cops, but we did swear a strong oath to protect U.S. persons. I’ll tell you that I absolutely felt a powerful obligation to jump in and risk myself to protect civilians:

“My people, those are my people in trouble there… I have to protect my people because I swore I would — HOOOORRRRAAAAHHHH!”

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“Goddamnit HAND… you just took out our deepest undercover officer — he’s been embedded for over two years now on this case and you just ruined it!!

My boy Troy, well… he’s more of a man than most “men” I see these days.

China celebrates the arrival of Coronavirus in the US and Japan

Banner jeering U.S. and Japan over the arrival of the pandemic.

OMG, the chineez!!

Liberal democraps (lib-dems) got their spoons out and are heads-down-butts-up bent at the waists over the edge of the barrel, scraping the bottom like there’s no tomorrow. All they could come up with from the spirited scraping was “Trump is a racist” for terming the global scourge the “china virus,” while the chineez hold up their hands and cry: “Hey don’t rook at us, all we did was suck a bat’s ass!”

Trump is always the bad guy; always going to be the bad guy — why should he even try to be anything else? Obama was never the bad guy because china had its dick so far up his ass it looked like he was eating a hotdog. Hey, china is sorry about that virus thingy — lib-dems know china is sorry and Trump needs to back off the oriental fingerpointing.

China expressed its deep sorrow this week when an upscale restaurant posted a banner across its facade shoving the virus in our and Japan’s face. The banner read the following: “sincerely congratulating the virus outbreak in America, and wishing the virus smooth sailing in Japan for a long (LONG) time”.

Did I vet that translation with multiple sources? Well, I’ve spoken Cantonese and Mandarin Chinese since I was 13 years old, so I guess that is the same thing as vetting it. china is behaving the equivalent of a kindergartener that points at a kid who just fell down on the playground and saying: “Haa-haaaa!”

Remember this movie?


Yeah, me too. Well, the day the Earth stood still china squatted over it and took a dump that would clog the Hoover Dam right on top of it — gotta love you some china! We know you are sorry about this lil’ faux pas of yours, china… we’ll just send you our bill then; right now it is at two trillion dollars — $2,000,000,000,000.00 — no personal checks, please!

Kids Will Be Kids

Ah, to be a kid again. Kids say the darndest things, you know… and they do the stupidest things too. Nothing has changed; we used to play mumbly-peg, had radioactive toys, and threw lawn darts. My brother and sister and I used to shoot arrows straight up in the air and then stand still looking straight ahead… hoping that the arrows did not come straight down on top of our heads and kill us.

“Kids! Come in for dinner!”

“Aww, mom! Do we have time for just one more shot?”

“Ha-ha… hokay ya little brigands — just one more shot then. Wait… shot? OMG — WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!?”

My sister, my brother and I with our homemade bows and arrows engaging in anti-procreation practices.

This is the version of the same game that my own children play today, though with bicycle helmets and padded arrows that whistle.

These challenges lately have become quite… a challenge — there was the ice bucket challenge which seemed innocuous enough, then there’s this whore Eva Lousie who showed us all about the Coronavirus toilet seat licking challenge. I think we’ll all need to see her demonstrate that a bunch more times before we will be able to catch on — and we get to choose which toilets!

Why shouldn’t kids try the Skull Crusher Challenge as long as they’re doing mindless acts that can result in death? So far it has indeed resulted in the deaths of two unsuspecting children. The most sinister aspect of this gag is that the child victims do not know that their legs are going to be kicked out from under them. I mean if you knew that part was going to happen, I’m sure it would make a generous difference in how you hit the ground — such as not landing on your head.

Yes, we did have the Atomic Situp in our day. While that did carry an aspect of national humility with it, it was generally not fatal. In the link below the Atomic Situp is demonstrated by some Devil Dogs from the United States Marine Corps:

Say kids… anyone wanna take the S&W.44 Magnum challenge? C’mon… we can bring some bananas and grapes and make a day of it!! Moron… party of three… moron?

By Almighty God and with honor,
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