Caution: Spirited Adult Content

Quote: “Black olives matter just as much as green ones.”
(george E. Hand IV, 08/06/2020)

My foundation is that ALL olives matter; I’m an equality and live-and-let-live sort of follow, or at least so I fancy myself. Back in the day when green olives started (friendly) protesting by printing “Green Olives Matter!” on the labels of their jars, it upset the black olives. The black olives thought that the green olives insinuated that the black olives didn’t matter now somehow. So the black olives started posting “Black Olives Matter too!” on the labels of their cans.

ALL Olives matter!

Furthermore, the black olives protested that while the green olives were traditionally packed in clear glass jars, the black olives came packed in a can. Why the hell did the green olives get a nice bright cheery transparent jar, while the black olives got jammed into a dark dreary can? Conspiracy! The black olives cried depravity and burned down the condiments aisle of the Piggly wiggly in protest. Then, they gathered in the meat aisle having no place to return to and demanded reparations.