Body of dumpster diving woman found

This story is the hands-down winner of the “so many questions” award in the Oddities Category. There is nothing of what I originally thought there would be in this story. It is likely that my version of dumpster diving had already been shaped by my depth of exposure around inner-city homeless folks here in Albuquerque.

This young (30 yo) pretty female — and we all know how much more tragic a news story is in the U.S. when the victim is a pretty young female — belonged to the eclectic breed of hobbyist dumpster divers. I mean, we all need hobbies — right? Hers was a knack for finding the silver lining in the cloud, the diamond in the rough, the treasure in the trash.

My slant? Dumpsters are off-limits to anyone who drives their own car out to go dig through them. If there is something of value in those, let the homeless folks have first bid to profit from it. So I live like a king, but I’m going to snatch a pair of old shoes out of the garbage from a brother with no shoes so I can hang them in my theme garden to give it a rustic and antiquated flair.

Ms. Stephanie Cox

“Dumpster diving is dangerous,” declared the police. Well, I guess it is now because a pretty young woman died doing it. Prior to her misfortune, I found it rather safe — that is unless you’re a well-off guy trying to snatch a homeless bro’s shoes for your theme garden. Yeah, dumpster diving is a deadly affair, deadly in the sense that crocheting an afghan is a deadly affair because you just never know when your ceiling is going to collapse and squash your guts out.

I think that might even be the cops’ pathetic attempt to explain away a very bizarre and unfortunate incident, one that wouldn’t have drawn near the attention it did if the victim hadn’t been so pretty and so female — well, dumpster diving IS, after all, a very precarious undertaking, so that would explain it.