As someone who’s worked checkpoints overseas, I still can’t see a use for this. Admittedly I was working a war zone checkpoint, and if a vehicle ran the check point, we had really effective ways of stopping it. Mostly ways that involved a machine gun.

Let’s go ahead and say for everyday Joes like you and I we don’t need this, it’s dumb. Is there any real application for police and military? Anything a 40 dollar bayonet won’t do? I’m not the top dog operator, and for the benefit of the doubt let’s say there are situations where using your rifle’s barrel is the best way to pop a tire. Is the Mako Tire Deflator the best way to do it?

The little spiky thing will likely pop a tire without issue. However, given that it’s shaped kinda like a syringe what’s the likelihood of tire rubber getting stuck in there? If tire rubber is stuck in the device is it possible to fire the weapon safely? I’m not trying it, but if you do, for science, I’ll buy you a happy meal.

RIDICULOUS RATING 3 OUT OF 5

Other Uses?

-Scaring California legislators

-Making grilled Kebabs

-Turning your AR into a Spear

2. RAIL MOUNTED BATTLE AXE

I want to think the fellas at Melee Mods designed this mod as a joke. I would confirm it, but Google keeps popping up unsafe warnings about their website, so I’m not investigating further. This Rail Mounted axe attaches directly to your Picatinny rail system. It’s a ‘bearded’ axe, so I guess it gets points for being the coolest kind of axe. Let’s face it; no tactical operator is complete without a tactical beard. As a tactical beard owner, I want my axes bearded too.

Okay, so a bayonet is still a passively accepted way to attach a melee weapon to a rifle. The military still issues bayonets to most troops, and there have been a few actual uses of the bayo in the War on Terror. However, the bayonet is lightweight, and handy as a knife when not mounted.

Now, can I say the same about a rail mounted battle axe? No, I cannot. It’s significantly heavier, and massive in size. It’s to be used without being attached to a gun. Plus is it effective at all? Would I ever be capable of swinging my axe like a knight? Not only that but is my rail system, and delta ring gonna be able to take the abuse of using the Axe as an actual axe? I doubt it, but I’ll offer a happy meal for the first guy to cut wood with an AR-15 mounted axe.

RIDICULOUS RATING 5 OUT OF 5

Other Uses?

-I got nothing.

3. JOLLY ROGER GUN STOCKS AR TOMAHAWK STOCK

Let’s stick to the theme of sticking Axes on AR-15s. Yes, it has happened more than once, and I can call it a theme. The newest being the Jolly Roger AR tomahawk stock. What’s really interesting is that the company, Jolly Roger, makes legit stocks for bolt action rifles. I can’t help but wonder if these Tomahawk stocks (not to be confused with Troy’s PDW stocks) are simply a means to get people talking.

If so it’s working. So instead of placing an Axe on your Picatinny rail, the Jolly Roger Stock puts an axe on the rear end of the rifle. The Jolly Roger website is pretty bare bones on information about these stocks. Looking at the pictures, it’s clear they are well made. What’s also clear is the fact these are not actually designed to be used as Axes or Tomahawks. At least it appears they aren’t actually sharp enough to harm anyone. Which is great because you won’t hurt yourself when shooting with one.

However, what’s the point of this 200 dollar stock, that still requires a rifle length buffer tube? If I’m attaching an Axe to my gun, I want to be able to do axe things. Like kill zombies, chop down down a tree, and axe questions.

RIDICULOUS RATING 1 OUT OF 5

Other Uses

-Ability to make Axe based puns while using it.

4. FAB DEFENSE UTA 19

Fab Defense is another company that moves between making cool gun gear and absolute WTFs. The UTA 19 is in the WTF category. It stands for Universal Tactical Attachment, which is already a vague buzzwordy name. Its purpose you ask? To add a Glock 19 to your AR-15. It attaches to your bottom rail via Picatinny mount, and then an attachment slides up into the Glock’s frame and holds underneath your rail system.

This turns your Glock 19 into a forward grip that’s mounted way too low. The idea is that this easier and faster to use when reloading your rifle. Maybe it is faster to grab your Glock and start Glocking, but it can’t be more efficient. First, how do I aim this thing? Guesswork and magic?

Let’s not forget the additional weight you are adding to your gun. There also a little thing called sympathetic movement. If you are using your Glock as a forward grip are you may accidentally fire both weapons at once due to sympathetic movement.

Lastly, there are some serious legal implications that don’t seem to be mentioned here. Like, the potential to turn a Glock 19 into an SBR. You gotta register it, pay a tax, and wait for a stamp to come back. If you don’t, you may be looking at fines and jail time. It’s impractical, can be illegal, and just plain dumb.

RIDICULOUS RATING 4 OUT OF 5

Other Uses

-Step 1 Attach rail under desk,

-Step 2 Mount UTA 19 under Desk

-Step 3 Mount Glock under desk

-Step 4 Defend yourself against work Gunsticles and Tac Sac