If you’re a fan of The Sopranos, you likely remember the Pine Barrens episode of Season 3. In a nutshell, Paulie Walnuts and Christopher Moltisanti ended up stuck in the woods after failing to dispose of a Russian target properly. 

It was comical. Picture this: two macho mafiosos walking around in circles, doing their best to return to their car. They had no food except suspect berries and ended up using a broken-down van for shelter. Paulie lost his shoe. They were like little boys wandering around a crowded amusement park, trying to find Mommy. 

Moltisanti said it best:

“Captain or no captain, we’re just two assholes lost in the woods.”

At that point, what do you do? You have no cell service, it’s pitch black, and it’s looking like you’ll be around these parts for a while. 

In the unlikely event that you find yourself in such a bind, this article should be helpful.

Immediate Tips For When You’re Stuck in the Woods

First, let’s start with the initial steps, the measures you should immediately take.