Editors note: The following text contains content intended for mature audiences. If you are under 18 or anticipate feeling discomfort or offense, we respectfully urge you to discontinue reading. Given its potentially sensitive nature, this material may not align with everyone’s taste or values. We strongly advise that you do not read this and risk being offended. 


We were at a strip club in Guam with the boys when one of my teammates, Derik got up to have a private dance with this incredibly hot Asian stripper. 

She looked half Thai and half Chinese, super hot; everyone at our table was jealous until we weren’t. 

Turns out Derik took her back for a private lap dance, and things started to get pretty heavy fast. She started to kiss him on the mouth, rub and grind in all the right places.

Then she asked him, “You like anal? Do me here?” as she pointed to her backdoor. 

“My lucky day!” Derik must have thought (I am ad-libbing here). At this point, Derik was so turned on he would have liked anything he told us, but something felt off to him, he said. 

Being a medic, maybe it was intuition, but he did a quick package check that revealed a handful of frank and beans. He said it was taped to disguise the little schnitzel as best possible but he was full stop at this point. The he/she (talk about confusing pro nouns!) then looked upset and was scared. 

“You not mad?” he/she said. 

“No, just glad to sort this out before things went too far.” 

Fast forward a few hours later, and this guy Chris comes to our table and starts bragging about how he just nailed some gal in the chocolate starfish. 

Whatever floats your boat, sailor.

Derik asked Chris to point her out.

You’ve probably figured out by now it was the same he/she and Derik was quick on the comms to inform Chris he had actually had sex with a man. 

The whole table erupted in laughter and trash-talking as Chris instantly became known as the “Man F#cker”. 

His face turned white, then shades of red and purple as he bolted out of the club. 

“Where you going man f’r!?”, a few of us snorted out as we spit up our beer. 

Chris couldn’t shake the nickname his entire time in the Teams. If you called him this Stateside, he would fight you on the spot. 

Everyone who’s served in a military unit knows the worst thing you can do is let them see you upset…just going to get worse.

Had he embraced his nickname it probably would have faded out but instead, the Man banger legend lives on to this day in the halls of his west coast SEAL Team.